It was a day without CSC Day peeps.
I should be enjoying my nice break from all the hard work for the past few weeks. But I was on the verge of crying instead.
I know I was moody for some reasons recently. But I didn't really show out my feelings to everyone who was around me. In fact, I was smiling to whoever I saw. I guess I'm not a person who will show my feeling on my face that easily unless it is really serious.
I have been trying to hide my emotions from the CSC Day peeps almost everyday. I am really unhappy recently. But they are not the reason for my unhappiness, so I do not want to affect them just because I'm moody. They are the ones who take my thoughts away, not thinking about anything else, but stuff on CSC Day. I feel happy around them, because I tend to forget about unhappy things. It can be very tiring at the end of the day, but I really enjoy their company.
As I try very hard not to express my true feelings, I hate it when people take it out on me just because they're unhappy themselves. I don't understand why so many people like to take it out on me these few days. Is it because I seem to be happy-go-lucky all the time to you? When I'm happy, you would want to dampen my mood? So sad to say, I'm not as happy as you may think as well. I just feel so wronged that these people are treating me like that without considering about how I truly feel. All they care is about themselves.
It was a day without CSC Day peeps indeed. Without them to be there to cheer me up with all sorts of nonsense we have everyday we meet.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I haven't been blogging for a long time because I have been busy with CSC Day props making. We have been going back to school almost every single day! It is kind of tiring going to school in the morning and ending in the evening, and the process repeats. But I really enjoy the company when we are together. It beats doing nothing at home yeah.. And we have a lot of fun! =D
I went back to work after missing work for 1 week last week. And Jack was finally in the office! When he saw me, his 1st sentence was, “好久不见”.. Funny... And I asked him about sponsoring CSC Day which he was okay with it! Yay!!! And he also gave me my long-awaited pay! It's kind of funny that my pay is really peasy since I only work whenever I can. My 2-month pay is like a day worth of pay working at C3 fair. Hahaha...
Today is also the release of our exam results! I'm quite happy with my results even though it sucks compared to most people in CSC Day OC. But heck! My CAP went up by 0.13! I shall continue to aim for CAP 3.0 next semester! Surprisingly, I got all B- except for CS2106! Siao lor! I actually got B for CS2106! Haha... I thought the module is going to be 1 of the worst, but it's actually the best! Haha... And I don't need to S/U my GEM! Hee...
Lastly! I went shopping with Angela at Causeway Point y'day! Totally crazy! I bought so many things! Haha... And of course! I finally bought my JJ 《第几个一百天》 album!!! It's a really great album with a lot of JJ's feelings in it. The words he wrote are really touching! I like the jazz like song written by Rynn - 《一个又一个》! Actually the songs in this album are all very nice! =D
Okay... Time to go to bed! I keep falling asleep in buses & MRTs and missing my stops recently. I guess I'm really tired! BB! =D
I went back to work after missing work for 1 week last week. And Jack was finally in the office! When he saw me, his 1st sentence was, “好久不见”.. Funny... And I asked him about sponsoring CSC Day which he was okay with it! Yay!!! And he also gave me my long-awaited pay! It's kind of funny that my pay is really peasy since I only work whenever I can. My 2-month pay is like a day worth of pay working at C3 fair. Hahaha...
Today is also the release of our exam results! I'm quite happy with my results even though it sucks compared to most people in CSC Day OC. But heck! My CAP went up by 0.13! I shall continue to aim for CAP 3.0 next semester! Surprisingly, I got all B- except for CS2106! Siao lor! I actually got B for CS2106! Haha... I thought the module is going to be 1 of the worst, but it's actually the best! Haha... And I don't need to S/U my GEM! Hee...
Lastly! I went shopping with Angela at Causeway Point y'day! Totally crazy! I bought so many things! Haha... And of course! I finally bought my JJ 《第几个一百天》 album!!! It's a really great album with a lot of JJ's feelings in it. The words he wrote are really touching! I like the jazz like song written by Rynn - 《一个又一个》! Actually the songs in this album are all very nice! =D
Okay... Time to go to bed! I keep falling asleep in buses & MRTs and missing my stops recently. I guess I'm really tired! BB! =D
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I'm sorry
**Moved**
I was never a good leader. And I know I will never be. If I am, I'll have never let you feel that way.
That is why I am very appreciative for having a good leader myself. And I'm willing to do so many things for her which I believe I will never do for anyone else. She may not be the best for all you may think, but she gave her best to me. She may forget things that she needs to do, but she will never forget things she promised me to do. The anxiety she took away from me when she senses it from me. The many, many things a lot of people do not think she will do, but she did.
The more I feel that she has given to me, the more I feel inferior for not being able to play the similar role back to you. The difference why I could accomplish so much with her around and enjoy getting busy and the challenges faced, and why I feel more and more disheartened even though I know I can accomplish so much more that I know I could have and have more than enough the capability to do so, but didn't manage to.
I'm sorry.
I've decided to move this post to somewhere more private.
I was never a good leader. And I know I will never be. If I am, I'll have never let you feel that way.
That is why I am very appreciative for having a good leader myself. And I'm willing to do so many things for her which I believe I will never do for anyone else. She may not be the best for all you may think, but she gave her best to me. She may forget things that she needs to do, but she will never forget things she promised me to do. The anxiety she took away from me when she senses it from me. The many, many things a lot of people do not think she will do, but she did.
The more I feel that she has given to me, the more I feel inferior for not being able to play the similar role back to you. The difference why I could accomplish so much with her around and enjoy getting busy and the challenges faced, and why I feel more and more disheartened even though I know I can accomplish so much more that I know I could have and have more than enough the capability to do so, but didn't manage to.
I'm sorry.
I've decided to move this post to somewhere more private.
I guessed I'm just being emo.
But I'm really tired out by the bare truth.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
The love that is everlasting
Just a little thought from the little mind...
How would you feel or what will you do if one day, JJ does not come back to Singapore for any promotions or events anymore?
Do you have an answer?
I'm proud to say, I have a very clear answer.
Rynn not being able to come to Singapore for his promo gives me a very definite answer. Even though I still find it a pity that I wasn't able to go for his concert in Genting, but it does not mean anything bad. I didn't find myself complaining much about all the not being able to see him and stuff like that.
This is because it is not the physical human that I am supporting only. I support JJ & Rynn because I support their music. Seeing them in person is definitely a bonus. To be honest, when we were told that Rynn was coming to Singapore anymore after getting excited for a few weeks, I was truly disappointed. But disappointment doesn't stay long. It wasn't because I didn't miss Rynn. I do miss him. However, it is the fact that I have his music to keep me going on. Rynn isn't here, but his music sure does stay on. 5 new songs are not a lot. But I fall in love with them slowly 1 by 1. I can feel the passion he leaves in his music. Seriously, nobody have any idea when Rynn will be coming to Singapore again. But for sure, my love for Rynn and his music is going to stay in me for as long as he continues to pursue his passion in music.
Demanding will only cause a loss in you. Your yearning in wanting to see him more and more will only cause you to lose your initial faith in his music. In the end, you'll never realize what you're supporting him for, for the close contact that he gives you, or the initial love for his music no matter where he is.
For JJ, I'm sure I'll have the same feeling. The feeling that will never change or fade... =D
How would you feel or what will you do if one day, JJ does not come back to Singapore for any promotions or events anymore?
Do you have an answer?
I'm proud to say, I have a very clear answer.
Rynn not being able to come to Singapore for his promo gives me a very definite answer. Even though I still find it a pity that I wasn't able to go for his concert in Genting, but it does not mean anything bad. I didn't find myself complaining much about all the not being able to see him and stuff like that.
This is because it is not the physical human that I am supporting only. I support JJ & Rynn because I support their music. Seeing them in person is definitely a bonus. To be honest, when we were told that Rynn was coming to Singapore anymore after getting excited for a few weeks, I was truly disappointed. But disappointment doesn't stay long. It wasn't because I didn't miss Rynn. I do miss him. However, it is the fact that I have his music to keep me going on. Rynn isn't here, but his music sure does stay on. 5 new songs are not a lot. But I fall in love with them slowly 1 by 1. I can feel the passion he leaves in his music. Seriously, nobody have any idea when Rynn will be coming to Singapore again. But for sure, my love for Rynn and his music is going to stay in me for as long as he continues to pursue his passion in music.
Demanding will only cause a loss in you. Your yearning in wanting to see him more and more will only cause you to lose your initial faith in his music. In the end, you'll never realize what you're supporting him for, for the close contact that he gives you, or the initial love for his music no matter where he is.
For JJ, I'm sure I'll have the same feeling. The feeling that will never change or fade... =D
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Seriously, I'm really pissed off.
What does it mean by all that nonsense? Do you even understand how stressed I am because of what had happened? Although it isn't anyone's fault, but can you be more considerate for me? I'm not like you. With 1 thing to concentrate on and nothing else. But I have more than I can handle right now. Can't you just be more sensitive?
I know you might be thinking I'm not managing myself well, so it's all my fault. But please think again, nobody expected that to happen. When that happened, you only have to take on only about 20% more responsibility. But it's different for me. I have to take up more than double of that responsibility.
When she demands from you, you in turn demand from me. Why has it turned into my problem instead? I wasn't the one who decide on things, I don't even have much say. And when things crop up, your tone just sounded so pissed off with me because I can't keep up to my tasks. Is it my fault it was you who gave me that allowance and wanted to take it back suddenly? You should be defending me, shouldn't you? If you explain to her, she'll understand. From my understanding of her, I know she would. But you didn't even bother to give her an explanation & give me that stupid reply.
Honestly, when I gave you my reply, there is something you can do. But you didn't. If it was her, and I gave her the same reply, I'm sure she'll make that decision that you didn't make. Both her & your problem will be solved, instead of delaying the problem further to me.
What does it mean by all that nonsense? Do you even understand how stressed I am because of what had happened? Although it isn't anyone's fault, but can you be more considerate for me? I'm not like you. With 1 thing to concentrate on and nothing else. But I have more than I can handle right now. Can't you just be more sensitive?
I know you might be thinking I'm not managing myself well, so it's all my fault. But please think again, nobody expected that to happen. When that happened, you only have to take on only about 20% more responsibility. But it's different for me. I have to take up more than double of that responsibility.
When she demands from you, you in turn demand from me. Why has it turned into my problem instead? I wasn't the one who decide on things, I don't even have much say. And when things crop up, your tone just sounded so pissed off with me because I can't keep up to my tasks. Is it my fault it was you who gave me that allowance and wanted to take it back suddenly? You should be defending me, shouldn't you? If you explain to her, she'll understand. From my understanding of her, I know she would. But you didn't even bother to give her an explanation & give me that stupid reply.
Honestly, when I gave you my reply, there is something you can do. But you didn't. If it was her, and I gave her the same reply, I'm sure she'll make that decision that you didn't make. Both her & your problem will be solved, instead of delaying the problem further to me.
Monday, December 07, 2009
700th POST!
700th POST!
BE AMAZED! SURPRISED!
I'm going to do a special post again!
This post is deliberately scheduled to be up on 07/12/09. =D
F-i-r-s-t..... JJ!
7th album - 《第几个100天》!
================================
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
N-E-X-T.... Rynn!
《7天追到你》
and
《活到一百岁》
Seems like everything fits just nice for me to write my 700th post! Haha...
Simple yet meaningful! With both JJ & Rynn again! =D
BE AMAZED! SURPRISED!
I'm going to do a special post again!
This post is deliberately scheduled to be up on 07/12/09. =D
F-i-r-s-t..... JJ!
7th album - 《第几个100天》!
================================
《第几个100天》
词：姚若龙 曲：林俊杰
我 把爱铺成蓝天
让不安的妳 一抬头就看得见
我 把心烧成火焰
让怕黑的妳 拥着温暖入眠
我晓得 时间如雪 有时候会覆盖一切
但是真爱 一如倔强会重生的绿叶
第几个一百天 还是很有感觉
用眼睛去素描 妳内心的世界
第几个一百天 也像刚热恋
两个人手一牵 连命运都改变
曾有的敏感脆弱
在我的胸口 你就躺下来别说了
将有的固执冲动
我也会拥抱妳安抚着体谅妳心疼着Wooh ~Wooh~
第几个一百天 越来越有感觉
用眼睛去素描 妳内心的世界
管过多少一百天 也像刚热恋
两个人手一牵 连命运都改变
当守护变信念 连泪水都很甜
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++N-E-X-T.... Rynn!
《7天追到你》
and
《活到一百岁》
Seems like everything fits just nice for me to write my 700th post! Haha...
Simple yet meaningful! With both JJ & Rynn again! =D
699th Post! It's all about Rynn! =D
699th Post! =D
Rynn's 至尊大排档！ =D
Some parts of the video are really funny! I totally laughed so loudly to myself when he said he'll 忘词 the first time he sings his new song. It was super funny at 2:07 of the 1st part video! It was like only the 2nd sentence and he really forgot! His scratching head with his sheepish look while "nahnahnah-ing" is really hilarious!
But the most important part is, I'm touched at his 真情流露 at some parts of his interview. 找回了当初支持宇中的感觉。。 Even though he does not have great ambitions about what he wants, but his passion for music is everlasting. Even though his songs are mostly that fanciful with all kinds of instruments or mixing, but it is exactly the simplicity of his music that I like about him. 喜欢弹吉它的宇中, 喜欢最简单的宇中。。
Anyway! At least the company puts in effort to get his MVs done instead of doing rubbish like the previous album. =D
Rynn's 至尊大排档！ =D
Some parts of the video are really funny! I totally laughed so loudly to myself when he said he'll 忘词 the first time he sings his new song. It was super funny at 2:07 of the 1st part video! It was like only the 2nd sentence and he really forgot! His scratching head with his sheepish look while "nahnahnah-ing" is really hilarious!
But the most important part is, I'm touched at his 真情流露 at some parts of his interview. 找回了当初支持宇中的感觉。。 Even though he does not have great ambitions about what he wants, but his passion for music is everlasting. Even though his songs are mostly that fanciful with all kinds of instruments or mixing, but it is exactly the simplicity of his music that I like about him. 喜欢弹吉它的宇中, 喜欢最简单的宇中。。
Anyway! At least the company puts in effort to get his MVs done instead of doing rubbish like the previous album. =D
Sunday, December 06, 2009
EXAMS ARE OVER! =D
YAY!!!
EXAMS ARE OVER! =D
Thanks to those who congratulated me on regaining my freedom! Like woah! I'm really surprised! I think I was annoying because I kept complaining they were celebrating their freedom while I was still having my exams. They could have just ignored me for all they care. I thought I was an emo-ing nuisance. Hahaha..
But yesterday, some of them actually came to find me online just to celebrate the end of exams with me! And I'm really surprised at the particular people who actually did that, those I didn't expect them to even think about me at all! I'm so happy!
Anyway, the programme cell met up to discuss about our plans for CSC Day at City Hall. It was really an enjoyable meeting with Zur, HTHT, Michelle & JH. I think our bonding wiil be great! Real business starts now! We have so much things to research on! But I'm not complaining about it, because it's going to get really fun soon! =D
Exams are officially over! And I fall sick too. Boo.. What a time to get sick! There's many things to do next week! I need to get well soon!
EXAMS ARE OVER! =D
Thanks to those who congratulated me on regaining my freedom! Like woah! I'm really surprised! I think I was annoying because I kept complaining they were celebrating their freedom while I was still having my exams. They could have just ignored me for all they care. I thought I was an emo-ing nuisance. Hahaha..
But yesterday, some of them actually came to find me online just to celebrate the end of exams with me! And I'm really surprised at the particular people who actually did that, those I didn't expect them to even think about me at all! I'm so happy!
Anyway, the programme cell met up to discuss about our plans for CSC Day at City Hall. It was really an enjoyable meeting with Zur, HTHT, Michelle & JH. I think our bonding wiil be great! Real business starts now! We have so much things to research on! But I'm not complaining about it, because it's going to get really fun soon! =D
Exams are officially over! And I fall sick too. Boo.. What a time to get sick! There's many things to do next week! I need to get well soon!
Friday, December 04, 2009
I'm so proud to have a stalker! wahaha...
She's none other than....
HTHT!
She has been reading my blog occasionally since dunno when lor! I don't even know that until last night! Eeyer! She doesn't even remember where she blogs hop from! So dangerous right! Now I'm so scared! I don't even know who else read it! Haha...
But I do welcome HTHT! Coz I know I haven't badmouthed her before. And now I know she reads sometimes, so the more I won't badmouth about her. Wahaha! The fact shall remain as I INSIST she's a stalker of mine from now.
Boy, I do love this stalker though! wahaha...
Just in case, my stalker happens to read this as well.. She loves to nag... so I shall go mug now! =P
She's none other than....
HTHT!
She has been reading my blog occasionally since dunno when lor! I don't even know that until last night! Eeyer! She doesn't even remember where she blogs hop from! So dangerous right! Now I'm so scared! I don't even know who else read it! Haha...
But I do welcome HTHT! Coz I know I haven't badmouthed her before. And now I know she reads sometimes, so the more I won't badmouth about her. Wahaha! The fact shall remain as I INSIST she's a stalker of mine from now.
Boy, I do love this stalker though! wahaha...
Just in case, my stalker happens to read this as well.. She loves to nag... so I shall go mug now! =P
Thursday, December 03, 2009
Just a short post before mugging for my last paper on Sat.
Today's CS2105 exam was still considered okay to me.. Considering I randomly browsed through the last few chapters and didn't manage to understand some stuff well enough. I just hope I can get an average score. Oh well...
I seriously think some people are rather inconsiderate. I know your exams are over. But not everyone's exam has ended. And I don't see why I went to interrupt you people when I was not mugging. Yet some people just think their exams are over, and other people are supposed to entertain their needs.
And I don't mean people who are celebrating their end of exams. It's their rights to celebrate their freedom and not wait until all gloomy humans finish their exams to do so afterall. I'm not so petty.
It's those selfish and thoughtless assholes who start gloating over people who are finishing their papers later than them.
Today's CS2105 exam was still considered okay to me.. Considering I randomly browsed through the last few chapters and didn't manage to understand some stuff well enough. I just hope I can get an average score. Oh well...
I seriously think some people are rather inconsiderate. I know your exams are over. But not everyone's exam has ended. And I don't see why I went to interrupt you people when I was not mugging. Yet some people just think their exams are over, and other people are supposed to entertain their needs.
And I don't mean people who are celebrating their end of exams. It's their rights to celebrate their freedom and not wait until all gloomy humans finish their exams to do so afterall. I'm not so petty.
It's those selfish and thoughtless assholes who start gloating over people who are finishing their papers later than them.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO BELOVED HTHT!
I'm so glad to have known her in e6! At first, I thought she has her own clique of friends & does not appear to be easy to get close with. But I was so wrong.. She is so much amiable than I thought. After we have gotten to know each other better through the Charis+Auxo allies, we get to know each other better. Now that both of us are in THES, I'm sure our friendship will continue to rock on. Moreover, I'll be spending most of my Dec/Jan holidays with her together with the other 3 programmers for CSC Day!
There is something that I always wish I could tell her personally. But I'm really shy about saying all these in person to her. I know she might not get to read this, so I'll write my appreciation here. For some friendship, I feel that we can be really close when we hang out a lot together, but once we all get busy with our own things, that closeness disappears. I think I regarded her friendship with me like this initially as well. I never stop to think how close we will be, or even care if we will be that close again. I have to say, I didn't put much effort in holding on to this friendship. I really have to thank HTHT for maintaining this bond so strongly that I have enough time to realize & cherish it.
I remembered very clearly what HTHT told me once. "Hey! We must continue to stay in contact once school reopens okay!" Some people may think this is just a passing remark. To me, it sticks to me for the longest time. It is partly because she really tries her best in doing so, and not just saying for the sake of saying. Like I say, I didn't put in any efforts. I didn't bother to make it a point to stay in contact. But she did. She really does wonders to me, that I begin to appreciate friends who I didn't appreciate properly in the past.
I guess it's really how amazing that fate can bring us closer through all these events even though I never once stop to think about how our friendship can go beyond than what we have today. I really cherish her a lot, because she is really 1 of the rare ones who is always willing to be there for me no matter things get tough or we just get together to have fun. I hope we will continue to be as close as now 10, 20, 30 years down the road. This time round, I will put in my part as well. =D
HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO DARREN!
I really appreciate him for inviting us to his 21st birthday party today! We have only known each other for less than 1 semester, yet he recognizes us as his close friends. It's really great to have him as 1 of our welfare/publicity for THES, because he is more enthusastic than I think he would be. Actually I love our THES comm because everyone is so fun-loving!
So Margaret, HTHT, HTHT's friend & I met at Yio Chu Kang & cabbed down to Selatar Country Club for Darren's birthday celebration. The cab uncle is really amazing! Darren said some of his friends were lost because the cab drivers didn't know how to get in. The environment & atmosphere was really great there. We just slacked there most of the time, because it is rude to read our notes.. hahaha...
3 people in 2 days come & tell me that 七天追到你 is very nice!
See! It shows I'm not biased towards Rynn's songs. =P It is really nice! I think his new songs are not very nice for the first time you hear them except 七天追到你. So a lot of people will not like them. But they are the 耐听 types. The more you listen, the more you will fall in love with them.
萧敬腾's 新不了情 is unbelievably LOVE!!!
I already feel like it's holidays! I have so many plans ahead!
Alicia & I have a plan to go her house for housewarming sleepover to watch 蜡笔小新 & 小叮当, also to piece puzzle together! It sounds so fun! wahaha...
And then, there is Ivalyn Lye Jun Yi. She said we agreed to go zoo together during the holidays, even though I really forget we talked about that before. Oops! Hahaha... But we still can go ok! I haven't been to the Zoo a long time! Yay! Haha...
Of course, there will be at least 1 date reserved just for ZARA LB!
And CSC Day OC is going to have our 1st bonding outing after 1 of the meetings. THES is planning for comm outing & volunteer outing as well..
Omg... I don't even know if I can make it for GYSB event to see JJ!
I need ALOT of time to do all these!!
I'm so glad to have known her in e6! At first, I thought she has her own clique of friends & does not appear to be easy to get close with. But I was so wrong.. She is so much amiable than I thought. After we have gotten to know each other better through the Charis+Auxo allies, we get to know each other better. Now that both of us are in THES, I'm sure our friendship will continue to rock on. Moreover, I'll be spending most of my Dec/Jan holidays with her together with the other 3 programmers for CSC Day!
There is something that I always wish I could tell her personally. But I'm really shy about saying all these in person to her. I know she might not get to read this, so I'll write my appreciation here. For some friendship, I feel that we can be really close when we hang out a lot together, but once we all get busy with our own things, that closeness disappears. I think I regarded her friendship with me like this initially as well. I never stop to think how close we will be, or even care if we will be that close again. I have to say, I didn't put much effort in holding on to this friendship. I really have to thank HTHT for maintaining this bond so strongly that I have enough time to realize & cherish it.
I remembered very clearly what HTHT told me once. "Hey! We must continue to stay in contact once school reopens okay!" Some people may think this is just a passing remark. To me, it sticks to me for the longest time. It is partly because she really tries her best in doing so, and not just saying for the sake of saying. Like I say, I didn't put in any efforts. I didn't bother to make it a point to stay in contact. But she did. She really does wonders to me, that I begin to appreciate friends who I didn't appreciate properly in the past.
I guess it's really how amazing that fate can bring us closer through all these events even though I never once stop to think about how our friendship can go beyond than what we have today. I really cherish her a lot, because she is really 1 of the rare ones who is always willing to be there for me no matter things get tough or we just get together to have fun. I hope we will continue to be as close as now 10, 20, 30 years down the road. This time round, I will put in my part as well. =D
HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO DARREN!
I really appreciate him for inviting us to his 21st birthday party today! We have only known each other for less than 1 semester, yet he recognizes us as his close friends. It's really great to have him as 1 of our welfare/publicity for THES, because he is more enthusastic than I think he would be. Actually I love our THES comm because everyone is so fun-loving!
So Margaret, HTHT, HTHT's friend & I met at Yio Chu Kang & cabbed down to Selatar Country Club for Darren's birthday celebration. The cab uncle is really amazing! Darren said some of his friends were lost because the cab drivers didn't know how to get in. The environment & atmosphere was really great there. We just slacked there most of the time, because it is rude to read our notes.. hahaha...
3 people in 2 days come & tell me that 七天追到你 is very nice!
See! It shows I'm not biased towards Rynn's songs. =P It is really nice! I think his new songs are not very nice for the first time you hear them except 七天追到你. So a lot of people will not like them. But they are the 耐听 types. The more you listen, the more you will fall in love with them.
萧敬腾's 新不了情 is unbelievably LOVE!!!
I already feel like it's holidays! I have so many plans ahead!
Alicia & I have a plan to go her house for housewarming sleepover to watch 蜡笔小新 & 小叮当, also to piece puzzle together! It sounds so fun! wahaha...
And then, there is Ivalyn Lye Jun Yi. She said we agreed to go zoo together during the holidays, even though I really forget we talked about that before. Oops! Hahaha... But we still can go ok! I haven't been to the Zoo a long time! Yay! Haha...
Of course, there will be at least 1 date reserved just for ZARA LB!
And CSC Day OC is going to have our 1st bonding outing after 1 of the meetings. THES is planning for comm outing & volunteer outing as well..
Omg... I don't even know if I can make it for GYSB event to see JJ!
I need ALOT of time to do all these!!
Friday, November 27, 2009
高校铁金刚
WAHAHA!
I've been watching 高校铁金刚 again!
This scene was super HILARIOUS! Rynn's face is really funny can! Keep me laughing like crazy! haha!!!
"是谁这样缺德把我的手放在你的肩膀上?"
I like his character in the show! Happy-go-lucky, love to act blur when he's damn smart! Forever scratching his head! wahaha...
I shall finished watching the episode & continue my mugging again! hahaha...
I've been watching 高校铁金刚 again!
This scene was super HILARIOUS! Rynn's face is really funny can! Keep me laughing like crazy! haha!!!
"是谁这样缺德把我的手放在你的肩膀上?"I like his character in the show! Happy-go-lucky, love to act blur when he's damn smart! Forever scratching his head! wahaha...
I shall finished watching the episode & continue my mugging again! hahaha...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Have been mugging real hard these few days!
Feeling so tired every now & then.
But I must continue to work hard!
All this hard work is going to pay off real soon! =D
I wonder if I did grow up any bit from my thinking. Even though I'm still as childish as I can be.
There are many people who will share joy with me. I was happy about that. I used to be so proud of it, that I have many friends who love to have fun with me. Then I realized, this is not what I want at all.
Once the fun is over, I find myself lonely again. Real lonely.
Then I realized there is this bunch of people. A group of people who I have forgotten when I was having fun with those fun people. The people who I have never noticed properly that they have always been there for me no matter what happen. I felt lonely because I have never felt their presence. All I have always been thinking is, how I could leave my lonely life again & look forward to having fun with the fun people.
Slowly, I come to realize, the people who are my friends are not just those who choose to share their joy with me only. There are people who are willing to share both joy & go through hardship with me, all the time. It is just how I always failed to see them at all.
I do find myself happier after turning 21. Afterall, many things happened during my 21st, and I've seen the worst, and also the best I could have that day. That special day really made me realize many, many things, that I did not use to see. After that day, a lot of my perspectives changed.
I began to see the joy in going through hard times with people I love together. I wasn't going through them alone anymore. There are times when we complain at every little things together, there are times when we joke about every single thing that isn't funny at all together, there are times when we go "oops!" at our mistakes & poke fun at one another after that, and there are times when we just sit down & have fun together.
Many people have been asking me why I want to exhaust my whole December holidays just like that. I asked myself why as well. I mean, I can be having fun out there. I know JJ is coming back for that Zouk event. I know Rynn is coming back as well(previously). I even know that if I were to devote my whole holidays on that project, I will have to give up my chance of seeing them both. Moreover, I will have to rush & put in a lot of hard work & efforts so that the project will be successful in the end. So why do I still give up on my only chances of seeing them for the sake of the project?
Maybe a lot of people will not understand how I feel. That project is not a commitment. That project is not about hardship. It is all about the people I meet & these are the people who are willing to go through whatever hardship we will be facing real soon. No matter how tough things are going to be, we know we'll be fine. Because we are in for this together, so we will find our way out together. And I really look forward to seeing the outcome of the project. To see our efforts pay off, even for the shortest moment we can imagine, it is enough. Nothing more.
I don't understand why some people have to misunderstand the fact that I choose to give up seeing JJ or Rynn means I do not like them as much anymore. Not seeing them does not mean I support them any less than last time. Not saying out loud that I miss them does not mean I do not miss them at all. Everyone has their different ways of showing their support. And I just choose to do it in the silent way. I do miss them as much as most fans do, just that I don't think I need to say it out to prove that I miss them.
Thanks for that particular person who tells me, "You haven't seen JJ for a long time, you must have missed him. So just go for that event." Thanks! It really warms my heart to know there is someone who always knows me best.
Feeling so tired every now & then.
But I must continue to work hard!
All this hard work is going to pay off real soon! =D
I wonder if I did grow up any bit from my thinking. Even though I'm still as childish as I can be.
There are many people who will share joy with me. I was happy about that. I used to be so proud of it, that I have many friends who love to have fun with me. Then I realized, this is not what I want at all.
Once the fun is over, I find myself lonely again. Real lonely.
Then I realized there is this bunch of people. A group of people who I have forgotten when I was having fun with those fun people. The people who I have never noticed properly that they have always been there for me no matter what happen. I felt lonely because I have never felt their presence. All I have always been thinking is, how I could leave my lonely life again & look forward to having fun with the fun people.
Slowly, I come to realize, the people who are my friends are not just those who choose to share their joy with me only. There are people who are willing to share both joy & go through hardship with me, all the time. It is just how I always failed to see them at all.
I do find myself happier after turning 21. Afterall, many things happened during my 21st, and I've seen the worst, and also the best I could have that day. That special day really made me realize many, many things, that I did not use to see. After that day, a lot of my perspectives changed.
I began to see the joy in going through hard times with people I love together. I wasn't going through them alone anymore. There are times when we complain at every little things together, there are times when we joke about every single thing that isn't funny at all together, there are times when we go "oops!" at our mistakes & poke fun at one another after that, and there are times when we just sit down & have fun together.
Many people have been asking me why I want to exhaust my whole December holidays just like that. I asked myself why as well. I mean, I can be having fun out there. I know JJ is coming back for that Zouk event. I know Rynn is coming back as well(previously). I even know that if I were to devote my whole holidays on that project, I will have to give up my chance of seeing them both. Moreover, I will have to rush & put in a lot of hard work & efforts so that the project will be successful in the end. So why do I still give up on my only chances of seeing them for the sake of the project?
Maybe a lot of people will not understand how I feel. That project is not a commitment. That project is not about hardship. It is all about the people I meet & these are the people who are willing to go through whatever hardship we will be facing real soon. No matter how tough things are going to be, we know we'll be fine. Because we are in for this together, so we will find our way out together. And I really look forward to seeing the outcome of the project. To see our efforts pay off, even for the shortest moment we can imagine, it is enough. Nothing more.
I don't understand why some people have to misunderstand the fact that I choose to give up seeing JJ or Rynn means I do not like them as much anymore. Not seeing them does not mean I support them any less than last time. Not saying out loud that I miss them does not mean I do not miss them at all. Everyone has their different ways of showing their support. And I just choose to do it in the silent way. I do miss them as much as most fans do, just that I don't think I need to say it out to prove that I miss them.
Thanks for that particular person who tells me, "You haven't seen JJ for a long time, you must have missed him. So just go for that event." Thanks! It really warms my heart to know there is someone who always knows me best.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I'm only a YEAR 3 student officially next semester!
Why am I torturing myself with 2 level 3 modules, and 2 level 4 modules? That does not include MA1521! I think I must be crazy! Lousy at Maths, loading myself with 4 core modules..
Seriously, if I don't die the next semester, I think I will still die the semester after next. There will be no difference to die early or later. I must pray hard now that Nicholas's advice is right. After all, he graduated from CE, but I'm in IS major. *Slap me*
Anyway, we had our 1st OC meeting for CSC Day today.
Yup, I'm happy to be selected as the programme assistant! Nothing could be better than this! =D
So... we had a round of introduction to know everyone in the OC. And we got to learn more about our roles as well as the rough schedule for everything to be done.
I've guessed the workload to be heavy for programme cell after the interview. But it was unexpectedly rushed for everyone in the end. I think it was partly because of me as well. The second meeting is expected to be held soon after the programme cell came up with a draft with proposed ideas of themes and plans. So it was originally scheduled to have the last programmer to finish exams so that the programme cell has time to meet up and plan. And then, that person happens to be me. And my last exam ends on the last day of the whole exam period. How irritating to have a paper on the last day of exam!
We will have so much things to do! We will be spending so much time together in school during the holidays! But I'm sure it's going to be fun! It has to be!!!
Why am I torturing myself with 2 level 3 modules, and 2 level 4 modules? That does not include MA1521! I think I must be crazy! Lousy at Maths, loading myself with 4 core modules..
Seriously, if I don't die the next semester, I think I will still die the semester after next. There will be no difference to die early or later. I must pray hard now that Nicholas's advice is right. After all, he graduated from CE, but I'm in IS major. *Slap me*
Anyway, we had our 1st OC meeting for CSC Day today.
Yup, I'm happy to be selected as the programme assistant! Nothing could be better than this! =D
So... we had a round of introduction to know everyone in the OC. And we got to learn more about our roles as well as the rough schedule for everything to be done.
I've guessed the workload to be heavy for programme cell after the interview. But it was unexpectedly rushed for everyone in the end. I think it was partly because of me as well. The second meeting is expected to be held soon after the programme cell came up with a draft with proposed ideas of themes and plans. So it was originally scheduled to have the last programmer to finish exams so that the programme cell has time to meet up and plan. And then, that person happens to be me. And my last exam ends on the last day of the whole exam period. How irritating to have a paper on the last day of exam!
We will have so much things to do! We will be spending so much time together in school during the holidays! But I'm sure it's going to be fun! It has to be!!!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I finally went out with ZARA LB on SaturdaY!
This is happiness! Wahaha...
We went to sing K! And I got to sing 彩虹! It was damn hilarious! I'm totally obsessed with that song right now! hahaha...
After our K session, we walked to Rina's house to slack. Actually, it was because Rina wanted to go home to put her things and she didn't drive to her lessons before that. ZA & I showed them e 彩虹 MV! It totally rocks! =D And we gossiped a lot! Okay... I think I gossiped the most.. OOPS!
After that, Rina drove us to Marina South Pier for dinner! We had fun taking photos before dinner! You can see how excited I was in the pictures below.. wahaha...
Anyway, our dinner totally rocked! And I mean, rock! We went on the ship or whatever you called it for dinner.. That is why it rocks.. hahaha...
Okay, as you can see... the way I'm typing... I'm kind of lazy to blog about the day spent with ZARA LB.
BUT I REALLY HAD FUN! =D
(I think I sound like a kid!)
This is happiness! Wahaha...
We went to sing K! And I got to sing 彩虹! It was damn hilarious! I'm totally obsessed with that song right now! hahaha...
After our K session, we walked to Rina's house to slack. Actually, it was because Rina wanted to go home to put her things and she didn't drive to her lessons before that. ZA & I showed them e 彩虹 MV! It totally rocks! =D And we gossiped a lot! Okay... I think I gossiped the most.. OOPS!
After that, Rina drove us to Marina South Pier for dinner! We had fun taking photos before dinner! You can see how excited I was in the pictures below.. wahaha...
Anyway, our dinner totally rocked! And I mean, rock! We went on the ship or whatever you called it for dinner.. That is why it rocks.. hahaha...
Okay, as you can see... the way I'm typing... I'm kind of lazy to blog about the day spent with ZARA LB.
BUT I REALLY HAD FUN! =D
(I think I sound like a kid!)
Friday, November 13, 2009
You know, after watching the 9pm show, I realized I'm actually like the who in the show.
I do not like to tell people directly why I am angry for some reasons, and want them to realize for themselves what exactly went wrong. No matter how sincere they are in their apologies, they still may not know what was the exact reason. I guess that is also the reason why many people misunderstood my intentions as unreasonable in the end.
I just feel that certain things are not supposed to be spoken out directly. If I tell them directly what is wrong, they may just realize it at that moment & apologize. Sometimes, it'll happen all over again. If people can realize what is wrong themselves, they will not forget that easily, because they realize.
I guess I'm just stubborn. Hmm...
I do not like to tell people directly why I am angry for some reasons, and want them to realize for themselves what exactly went wrong. No matter how sincere they are in their apologies, they still may not know what was the exact reason. I guess that is also the reason why many people misunderstood my intentions as unreasonable in the end.
I just feel that certain things are not supposed to be spoken out directly. If I tell them directly what is wrong, they may just realize it at that moment & apologize. Sometimes, it'll happen all over again. If people can realize what is wrong themselves, they will not forget that easily, because they realize.
I guess I'm just stubborn. Hmm...
I think I'm so efficient after I took my nap! I guess that is because nobody is online to distract me or for me to distract. Now I'm taking a break from that mugging.
I think I wasted a lot of time in school today! Oops!
Jocelyn & I were supposed to be in school for CS2105 assignment evaluation. We were done in 10minutes! And we got full marks! I hope the tutor would not change his mind. Haha... Yanzhu told me afterwards that his friend didn't do well because he used localhost or something like that. o.O I was surprised because I asked the tutor if we can use localhost because my laptop was starting up when Jocelyn was already ready. And he was okay with it. So weird right...
Anyway, I went from Science to Engineer to find Xinyi & Jiawei for lunch! Jocelyn "abandoned" me because she had already eaten! Haha... I haven't seen Xinyi for the longest of time! Lol... Anyway! It's the 1st time I saw Chen Hua in school! PHD student-to-be lehz... Don't joke!
After lunch, I had time to spare since there wasn't CS2261 lecture anymore. So I went back to Science with them because Xinyi was going to have her lessons there. On the way there, we saw Esther! Science student in Science! Okay... I'm so lame. After that, Jiawei & I went to Science Library to find Jocelyn & their friends. It was my 1st time in the Science Library! =D Anyway, I was practically slacking there with my laptop. Haha...
Yanzhu came when it was close to my CS3361 lecture time for me to write something. I took such a long time to write. He was supposed to meet Xinyi at Central Forum, so I accompanied him to meet the other Xinyi in Science canteen before taking shuttle bus back to Central Forum. I was like super late for my lecture, but I didn't care. Oops.
When we reached Central Forum, Xinyi was there already. I think Johnson was on his way to Central Library, so Xinyi dragged him to accompany her while waiting for Yanzhu. Johnson was DAMN BLOODY can! He was telling his story of how he woke up with his mouth & pillow full of blood. And we started all the nonsense about the bloody shit & disgusting stuff. When Wing came down from Central Library, Johnson repeated his story.
By the time we finished writing & chit-chatting, it was already 3pm. I walked over to SR1 to realize the last lecture had already ended. Haha! I told you I wasted my time in school! LoL!!! So in the end, I went home happily & nap before my mugging session.
Ohoh.. Anyway, the interview was rather funny yesterday. I shall not elaborate much about it, because I don't think I should do it openly, just in case. Haha... But it was really fun! =D
I think I wasted a lot of time in school today! Oops!
Jocelyn & I were supposed to be in school for CS2105 assignment evaluation. We were done in 10minutes! And we got full marks! I hope the tutor would not change his mind. Haha... Yanzhu told me afterwards that his friend didn't do well because he used localhost or something like that. o.O I was surprised because I asked the tutor if we can use localhost because my laptop was starting up when Jocelyn was already ready. And he was okay with it. So weird right...
Anyway, I went from Science to Engineer to find Xinyi & Jiawei for lunch! Jocelyn "abandoned" me because she had already eaten! Haha... I haven't seen Xinyi for the longest of time! Lol... Anyway! It's the 1st time I saw Chen Hua in school! PHD student-to-be lehz... Don't joke!
After lunch, I had time to spare since there wasn't CS2261 lecture anymore. So I went back to Science with them because Xinyi was going to have her lessons there. On the way there, we saw Esther! Science student in Science! Okay... I'm so lame. After that, Jiawei & I went to Science Library to find Jocelyn & their friends. It was my 1st time in the Science Library! =D Anyway, I was practically slacking there with my laptop. Haha...
Yanzhu came when it was close to my CS3361 lecture time for me to write something. I took such a long time to write. He was supposed to meet Xinyi at Central Forum, so I accompanied him to meet the other Xinyi in Science canteen before taking shuttle bus back to Central Forum. I was like super late for my lecture, but I didn't care. Oops.
When we reached Central Forum, Xinyi was there already. I think Johnson was on his way to Central Library, so Xinyi dragged him to accompany her while waiting for Yanzhu. Johnson was DAMN BLOODY can! He was telling his story of how he woke up with his mouth & pillow full of blood. And we started all the nonsense about the bloody shit & disgusting stuff. When Wing came down from Central Library, Johnson repeated his story.
By the time we finished writing & chit-chatting, it was already 3pm. I walked over to SR1 to realize the last lecture had already ended. Haha! I told you I wasted my time in school! LoL!!! So in the end, I went home happily & nap before my mugging session.
Ohoh.. Anyway, the interview was rather funny yesterday. I shall not elaborate much about it, because I don't think I should do it openly, just in case. Haha... But it was really fun! =D
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Give me courage
I have been a lot acting on my own recently.
I don't really like the feeling of being on my own & acting on my gut feeling. Even though everyone has appreciated my efforts in making the right decisions for them in the end, so far so good, I still have that jittery feeling that I did not perform what they should have expected. Afterall, these decisions are not supposed to be performed by me in the first place. I just feel that I am just going to screw something up because I have not seek for the advices that I should.
This is so contradicting!
I just don't understand why I am so worried, even though I have been doing a good job in whatever I'm helping out so far. I guessed it is because they are all major decisions. I know everyone trusts me enough to handle, but I guess I just don't trust myself.
Everyone give me the encouragement I can do BIG things. They trust me so much and they have the confidence to push me to go for them. But I do not have the confidence that I need to give myself. I seriously need it! Sometimes I know myself that I can do it, but I just want to make sure I do it well.
I need the courage to take the big step forward in order to overcome this mental barrier, seriously..
I don't really like the feeling of being on my own & acting on my gut feeling. Even though everyone has appreciated my efforts in making the right decisions for them in the end, so far so good, I still have that jittery feeling that I did not perform what they should have expected. Afterall, these decisions are not supposed to be performed by me in the first place. I just feel that I am just going to screw something up because I have not seek for the advices that I should.
This is so contradicting!
I just don't understand why I am so worried, even though I have been doing a good job in whatever I'm helping out so far. I guessed it is because they are all major decisions. I know everyone trusts me enough to handle, but I guess I just don't trust myself.
Everyone give me the encouragement I can do BIG things. They trust me so much and they have the confidence to push me to go for them. But I do not have the confidence that I need to give myself. I seriously need it! Sometimes I know myself that I can do it, but I just want to make sure I do it well.
I need the courage to take the big step forward in order to overcome this mental barrier, seriously..
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Finally!
The mass ticket purchase is finalized & done with!
Next! It would be collecting the ticket from my bestie! Thanks so much for her help over at NTU side. Then I'll be doing my part over at NUS side.. =D
Seriously, for $10 a year, some people just think we owe them our life. And why do some have to comment so much about not being able to go? I'm not saying this senselessly just because I'm above 18 years old. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I can go because of all my commitments. In the first place, do you people understand what is the cause/event is for? It's not his event, FYI. It's for a cause!
Sorry, but I don't really like it when people blindly go for it just for the sake of him without thinking what the purpose is, especially when this is for a good cause. It just shows how much responsibility one has for the society. Maybe I feel more strongly for this particular event because I really hate the fact that people just complain why they can't go see him & do not know what the event is for.
It is the same as how I hate people who does community service for the sake of CCA points. You don't do it with your heart, but you do it with something for return. It is really different doing community service in secondary school & university. In secondary school, many of us do it for the fulfillment of the number of community hours we have to complete each year. Now, if you ask me how many CCA points I have accumulated so far after being in CSC for a year or so, I can tell you, I don't know. This is what many fellow CSC members would probably tell you as well. Maybe I have none at all. Maybe nobody bothers to help me update my CCA records. But seriously, who cares? I do it because I love it.
The mass ticket purchase is finalized & done with!
Next! It would be collecting the ticket from my bestie! Thanks so much for her help over at NTU side. Then I'll be doing my part over at NUS side.. =D
Seriously, for $10 a year, some people just think we owe them our life. And why do some have to comment so much about not being able to go? I'm not saying this senselessly just because I'm above 18 years old. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I can go because of all my commitments. In the first place, do you people understand what is the cause/event is for? It's not his event, FYI. It's for a cause!
Sorry, but I don't really like it when people blindly go for it just for the sake of him without thinking what the purpose is, especially when this is for a good cause. It just shows how much responsibility one has for the society. Maybe I feel more strongly for this particular event because I really hate the fact that people just complain why they can't go see him & do not know what the event is for.
It is the same as how I hate people who does community service for the sake of CCA points. You don't do it with your heart, but you do it with something for return. It is really different doing community service in secondary school & university. In secondary school, many of us do it for the fulfillment of the number of community hours we have to complete each year. Now, if you ask me how many CCA points I have accumulated so far after being in CSC for a year or so, I can tell you, I don't know. This is what many fellow CSC members would probably tell you as well. Maybe I have none at all. Maybe nobody bothers to help me update my CCA records. But seriously, who cares? I do it because I love it.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I'm currently blogging in Anna's office right now.
Actually, I am supposed to be working as usual. But I finished calling my leads & Jack is not around. Therefore, I got no new leads to call. So here I am, slacking in Anna's office while waiting for her to go for dinner later. Haha...
I've been feeling so sleepy the whole day! I slept in both CS2105 & CS2106 lectures. Only woke up at unimportant timings to pay attention. Lol...
Here I am, leeching on Anna's office wireless... I hope my laptop will last me long enough! To think that I don't feel the need to bring my charger today, even though I brought it along every Tuesday. Tsk tsk tsk...
I shall go slack and play my facebook games! =D
Actually, I am supposed to be working as usual. But I finished calling my leads & Jack is not around. Therefore, I got no new leads to call. So here I am, slacking in Anna's office while waiting for her to go for dinner later. Haha...
I've been feeling so sleepy the whole day! I slept in both CS2105 & CS2106 lectures. Only woke up at unimportant timings to pay attention. Lol...
Here I am, leeching on Anna's office wireless... I hope my laptop will last me long enough! To think that I don't feel the need to bring my charger today, even though I brought it along every Tuesday. Tsk tsk tsk...
I shall go slack and play my facebook games! =D
Monday, November 09, 2009
New blog song! New love! So cute! =D
I have this love-hate relationship about JJ & Rynn.
They always like to come back for official public events around the same period of time. Or rather, sometimes together. As much as I wish for them to perform on the same stage more often, but there is only 1 zx. I’m already openly known for being in both FCs.
Just like how people may not know me, but know that there exists this girl who dresses herself in purple like crazy in school almost every single day.
It is the same as, people may not know me, but know that there exists this girl who jumps around excitedly and chattered real loudly in between these 2 FCs. And it is damn obvious whenever JJ & Rynn have events around the same time.
I think they’re doing it again. JJ will be back for GYSB event, and Rynn will be coming back 10 days later. I can’t imagine if JJ has other events in conjunction with this already announced event. I would be happy if he just releases his album in December and come back in January! =D
OKAY! WHATEVER! Haha….
New blog song! New love! So cute! =D
They always like to come back for official public events around the same period of time. Or rather, sometimes together. As much as I wish for them to perform on the same stage more often, but there is only 1 zx. I’m already openly known for being in both FCs.
Just like how people may not know me, but know that there exists this girl who dresses herself in purple like crazy in school almost every single day.
It is the same as, people may not know me, but know that there exists this girl who jumps around excitedly and chattered real loudly in between these 2 FCs. And it is damn obvious whenever JJ & Rynn have events around the same time.
I think they’re doing it again. JJ will be back for GYSB event, and Rynn will be coming back 10 days later. I can’t imagine if JJ has other events in conjunction with this already announced event. I would be happy if he just releases his album in December and come back in January! =D
OKAY! WHATEVER! Haha….
New blog song! New love! So cute! =D
JJ in my Project YO!
Now I know how much I've procastinated on my GEM project.
Even JJ is "reminding" me to get to doing it.
What a joke!
But then, I'm kind of serious! =D
I would have known about this event of JJ early if I have started on my project early, you see...
Okay, I'm just being nonsense. It is just coincident that I'm assigned to write up on "Corporate Social Responsibility" for my GEM project, and this "GYSB" campaign is actually part of what I am supposed to research on. So cool eh! I can actually include JJ in my project without having to crack my brains! Haha...
I thought I'll hate researching on Tiger because it is not really a topic of my interest. Now there is a reason for me to love it. Haha...
Even JJ is "reminding" me to get to doing it.
What a joke!
But then, I'm kind of serious! =D
I would have known about this event of JJ early if I have started on my project early, you see...
Okay, I'm just being nonsense. It is just coincident that I'm assigned to write up on "Corporate Social Responsibility" for my GEM project, and this "GYSB" campaign is actually part of what I am supposed to research on. So cool eh! I can actually include JJ in my project without having to crack my brains! Haha...
I thought I'll hate researching on Tiger because it is not really a topic of my interest. Now there is a reason for me to love it. Haha...
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Seriously, it has never dawned on me that it is her fault. Because it isn’t at all.
I don’t understand why people think it’s unfair to me. I really don’t think so at all. And just because I said all those things, it doesn’t mean I’m blaming her. Maybe people interpret me wrongly. I’m just stating my considerations, and nothing more than that. In fact, there isn’t any issues with who should be the one doing what & who should not, but they’re just some thoughts that we have to take note of.
I don’t see why it is unfair to me. Some people think I should not be the one giving up on everything because of her. Then again, why should she be the one giving up everything because of me? And there is no reason she has to ask for my opinions on everything she is going to do that is going to affect me. It is her freedom afterall. And whatever that is going to affect me, it is up to me to decide how everything is going to be settled later on. I do have a choice afterall. It really doesn’t mean it is her fault just because she has to be inside some portions of my considerations. I really think it is very unfair to her.
To be frank, she is someone who gains my respect for her. Not just a wonderful friend/partner, but a great supporter as well. I'm truly glad that it is her, and not someone else. People will most probably not understand how I feel towards this kind of thing. I don't think I will be disappointed with how things are going to turn out to be. I guess the sense of belonging is clinging on very well. =D
On the other hand, what I am really disappointed about, are some other things that I don't really touch on anymore. I guess I either rarely talk to some people, or totally don't talk to them anymore. What are friends to everyone anyway? If one day I stopped chasing/loving the same idol as you anymore, does it mean I am no longer your friend? This is a very cruel fact that some people have been showing me. Just because I seem to be less involved in chasing my favourite idols. Just because I stop talking about them anymore. Just because if there is no idol talk, there is nothing we can talk about already.
Everyone has to realize, "I'll support my favourite idol FOREVER." will become a lie some day. If you don't believe me, then you'll be lying to yourself. If you still don't believe me, we can see what will happen 30, 40, 50 years from now. You'll have to believe me one day. I'm confident about this.
Okay, I'm just sidetracking to rant because I just find it a pity a few people don't realize what went wrong in our friendship, and why I stopped salvaging them, and they didn't stop to treasure it as well.
Anyway, I hope I can go KTV with ZARA LB this coming Saturday! No promises! But I really want to meet up with them!
I don’t understand why people think it’s unfair to me. I really don’t think so at all. And just because I said all those things, it doesn’t mean I’m blaming her. Maybe people interpret me wrongly. I’m just stating my considerations, and nothing more than that. In fact, there isn’t any issues with who should be the one doing what & who should not, but they’re just some thoughts that we have to take note of.
I don’t see why it is unfair to me. Some people think I should not be the one giving up on everything because of her. Then again, why should she be the one giving up everything because of me? And there is no reason she has to ask for my opinions on everything she is going to do that is going to affect me. It is her freedom afterall. And whatever that is going to affect me, it is up to me to decide how everything is going to be settled later on. I do have a choice afterall. It really doesn’t mean it is her fault just because she has to be inside some portions of my considerations. I really think it is very unfair to her.
To be frank, she is someone who gains my respect for her. Not just a wonderful friend/partner, but a great supporter as well. I'm truly glad that it is her, and not someone else. People will most probably not understand how I feel towards this kind of thing. I don't think I will be disappointed with how things are going to turn out to be. I guess the sense of belonging is clinging on very well. =D
On the other hand, what I am really disappointed about, are some other things that I don't really touch on anymore. I guess I either rarely talk to some people, or totally don't talk to them anymore. What are friends to everyone anyway? If one day I stopped chasing/loving the same idol as you anymore, does it mean I am no longer your friend? This is a very cruel fact that some people have been showing me. Just because I seem to be less involved in chasing my favourite idols. Just because I stop talking about them anymore. Just because if there is no idol talk, there is nothing we can talk about already.
Everyone has to realize, "I'll support my favourite idol FOREVER." will become a lie some day. If you don't believe me, then you'll be lying to yourself. If you still don't believe me, we can see what will happen 30, 40, 50 years from now. You'll have to believe me one day. I'm confident about this.
Okay, I'm just sidetracking to rant because I just find it a pity a few people don't realize what went wrong in our friendship, and why I stopped salvaging them, and they didn't stop to treasure it as well.
Anyway, I hope I can go KTV with ZARA LB this coming Saturday! No promises! But I really want to meet up with them!
Last Visit of the Semester + Mixed Feeling
Most of the major assignments/projects are finally over.
I wasn’t in an exact good mood to handle everything, which caused my temper to be kind of bad at times. To think back, I feel bad for venting my anger unreasonably over some people in the past week. I’m so sorry... =(
Oh well… Now, I’m left with 1 group project cum presentation, which I’m supposed to get it done yesterday. Craps! I shall do it later in the evening. Oops! Then there’ll be this 10-page final paper for CS3361 that is due on next Tuesday. Hooray! It’s still a long way, so I still have time to think my way through instead of rushing like mad! But I shall set a target for myself to finish it by Friday if possible. I need time to mug for my final exams too. It’s really time to start!
Yesterday was the last visit of T.H.E. Seniors for the semester. It was really fun as usual. I still feel that it was a pity that I couldn’t attend MAF. I was so looking forward to it so much! I guess being so much involved as compared to last year really makes me feel good & want to do more for T.H.E. Seniors more than anything. Even though I seem to always make blunders out of tiny details, everyone else is able to accommodate me with my little mistakes, which makes me feel comfortable being there. Now I feel so sad because I won’t be able to go for visitation until late December! The next official visit is on the day I had a 1-day course, and if there is an unofficial visit the week before, it’ll be falling on my last day of exam. =(
Anyway, I’ve finally made up my decision to go ahead with it. That was what I thought so initially. Apparently, if I know that he is also thinking in the same hesitation as me earlier, I think I would never choose to do it. He is really the person whom I should listen to because of who he is. Some reasons are just unexplainable until you’ve been through them yourself.
Oh well… I guess it’s already done. So I should really go for it now. But I guess there is more to it. Another thing I have to consider. I really appreciate it, but I’m not really confident if I’m up to it.
So… interview is on Thursday. Somehow, I can say that I’m already well-prepared for it. Thanks to the previous interview which makes me crack my brain over it. Thus, I think whatever I need to prepare should be more or less done in the previous interview. I didn’t realize the amazing things that I’ve done in the previous interview & what it has done to me as well! I still think it’s damn weird! Haha…
I wasn’t in an exact good mood to handle everything, which caused my temper to be kind of bad at times. To think back, I feel bad for venting my anger unreasonably over some people in the past week. I’m so sorry... =(
Oh well… Now, I’m left with 1 group project cum presentation, which I’m supposed to get it done yesterday. Craps! I shall do it later in the evening. Oops! Then there’ll be this 10-page final paper for CS3361 that is due on next Tuesday. Hooray! It’s still a long way, so I still have time to think my way through instead of rushing like mad! But I shall set a target for myself to finish it by Friday if possible. I need time to mug for my final exams too. It’s really time to start!
Yesterday was the last visit of T.H.E. Seniors for the semester. It was really fun as usual. I still feel that it was a pity that I couldn’t attend MAF. I was so looking forward to it so much! I guess being so much involved as compared to last year really makes me feel good & want to do more for T.H.E. Seniors more than anything. Even though I seem to always make blunders out of tiny details, everyone else is able to accommodate me with my little mistakes, which makes me feel comfortable being there. Now I feel so sad because I won’t be able to go for visitation until late December! The next official visit is on the day I had a 1-day course, and if there is an unofficial visit the week before, it’ll be falling on my last day of exam. =(
Anyway, I’ve finally made up my decision to go ahead with it. That was what I thought so initially. Apparently, if I know that he is also thinking in the same hesitation as me earlier, I think I would never choose to do it. He is really the person whom I should listen to because of who he is. Some reasons are just unexplainable until you’ve been through them yourself.
Oh well… I guess it’s already done. So I should really go for it now. But I guess there is more to it. Another thing I have to consider. I really appreciate it, but I’m not really confident if I’m up to it.
So… interview is on Thursday. Somehow, I can say that I’m already well-prepared for it. Thanks to the previous interview which makes me crack my brain over it. Thus, I think whatever I need to prepare should be more or less done in the previous interview. I didn’t realize the amazing things that I’ve done in the previous interview & what it has done to me as well! I still think it’s damn weird! Haha…
Monday, November 02, 2009
I'm really stunned...
Really stunned...
Stunned...
I wasn't disappointed at the result at all because I've expected it for me that way. I was totally prepared. Or perhaps, I realized it was a wrong decision of trying to start out so huge. I guessed I was hoping much about not getting it after all, and start out properly as a small fry instead. And I was all excited to decide what I want to do after the result was out. I have 2 choices in mind already..
But then...
The result was really a big stunning news for me.
Stunned...
How do I describe it? The result is the first thing that I've always been considering and really hope for it not to happen. Actually, there is nothing wrong with the result at all. In fact, it was an excellent result, and I'm really happy to see it. But in some sense, under certain circumstances, under certain considerations, what I worry most is actually happening in the most happening way.
Maybe I worry too much. Is there really those things to worry about? But I like to foresee things in advance. From what I see now from another situation, I'm experiencing it right now. I don't mind to do it at all. It is exactly from this experience, which is what I'm afraid of picking my choices right now. If I abandon my choices, things may probably just continue the same way as this current experience, and I have totally no complaints about doing it at all. I'm just worried, if I really go for 1 of my choices, who will be there for us? I just think that someone has to be there for us. I can't let others do it, because it is part of my responsibilities to do it.
Those people who know are encouraging me to go for what I plan for. I really wonder if I should. They know it's something I really want to do. But I want to think for the whole picture. It's not a need, it's a want. Now I'm so confused...
Really stunned...
Stunned...
I wasn't disappointed at the result at all because I've expected it for me that way. I was totally prepared. Or perhaps, I realized it was a wrong decision of trying to start out so huge. I guessed I was hoping much about not getting it after all, and start out properly as a small fry instead. And I was all excited to decide what I want to do after the result was out. I have 2 choices in mind already..
But then...
The result was really a big stunning news for me.
Stunned...
How do I describe it? The result is the first thing that I've always been considering and really hope for it not to happen. Actually, there is nothing wrong with the result at all. In fact, it was an excellent result, and I'm really happy to see it. But in some sense, under certain circumstances, under certain considerations, what I worry most is actually happening in the most happening way.
Maybe I worry too much. Is there really those things to worry about? But I like to foresee things in advance. From what I see now from another situation, I'm experiencing it right now. I don't mind to do it at all. It is exactly from this experience, which is what I'm afraid of picking my choices right now. If I abandon my choices, things may probably just continue the same way as this current experience, and I have totally no complaints about doing it at all. I'm just worried, if I really go for 1 of my choices, who will be there for us? I just think that someone has to be there for us. I can't let others do it, because it is part of my responsibilities to do it.
Those people who know are encouraging me to go for what I plan for. I really wonder if I should. They know it's something I really want to do. But I want to think for the whole picture. It's not a need, it's a want. Now I'm so confused...
Saturday, October 31, 2009
The stressful week is not over yet!
Later I have to go back to school to finish my CS2106 lab.. So dumb.. We have to use OS Lab PC for the final lab exercises. Wth... It's a waste of time! And then my GEK1047 group mates are meeting in school at 5pm as well.. I don't even know if I'll be staying over in school tonight.. If I ever get to finish my lab that is...
Well... At least CS2261 Assignment & CS3361 Assignment have been done! Although CS3361 assignment was postponed last minute to next week. And it'll be onto CS2105 programming assignment! Haiz... It's rush hour man...
I guess it's a good thing that I get to see & realize a lot of things for these past 2 weeks. Some truths hurt, but it's good to see it early.. It's time to let go some things.. There is no point grabbing on tightly to certain things that may fall apart in the end.
Later I have to go back to school to finish my CS2106 lab.. So dumb.. We have to use OS Lab PC for the final lab exercises. Wth... It's a waste of time! And then my GEK1047 group mates are meeting in school at 5pm as well.. I don't even know if I'll be staying over in school tonight.. If I ever get to finish my lab that is...
Well... At least CS2261 Assignment & CS3361 Assignment have been done! Although CS3361 assignment was postponed last minute to next week. And it'll be onto CS2105 programming assignment! Haiz... It's rush hour man...
I guess it's a good thing that I get to see & realize a lot of things for these past 2 weeks. Some truths hurt, but it's good to see it early.. It's time to let go some things.. There is no point grabbing on tightly to certain things that may fall apart in the end.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
“现实真的很现实。。 昨天几个人说的一些话和关心，让我感觉很温馨。。 但是，这些人里面，没有一个是我所谓的好朋友。。 这就是现实。。 至少现实不是残酷的，它让我看到那些真正关心我，就算我什么利用价值都没有，给他们添了很多麻烦，都会一直在我身边陪着我的人。 ”
I thought I was brave enough to handle everything. I guess I wasn't at all.
I am sick.
I am weak.
I am stressed.
I am at my most vulnerable state.
And I cried.
What makes me cry..
It is not how I realize how practical some friendship has become.
It is not how I am disappointed at some of my so-called good friends.
It is not how I convince myself these friendships are not worthy at all.
It is not how I tell myself I can live without them anyway.
Then I get to understand...
The word, "friendship" has to be re-defined in my life.
It was when I realized, the people who are most concerned about me, are the people who will not come to my mind immediately. We aren't the closest that I would have thought of. But they're are the ones there for me in the end. I didn't share my joy with them, but they share theirs with me. I gave them tons of shit to handle, yet they are the ones who tell me not to worry about them, but the most important thing is to get well soon. When they know I feel bad about something, they assure me so many times that everything is fine.. I feel so comforted.. I feel the warmth that I know I'll never ever get from my good friends anymore.
It was when 1 of my juniors came & tell me something simple, and that was what evoked my tears. The most simple way of showing concern. And all the sms-es & msn messages that came through yesterday. They make me realize I still have so many friends who will be there for me no matter what.
I will not complain how none of these people are my good friends anymore.
It is not important to me anymore.
It is more important to be satisfied with the warmth I get from the friends who truly care.
I thought I was brave enough to handle everything. I guess I wasn't at all.
I am sick.
I am weak.
I am stressed.
I am at my most vulnerable state.
And I cried.
What makes me cry..
It is not how I realize how practical some friendship has become.
It is not how I am disappointed at some of my so-called good friends.
It is not how I convince myself these friendships are not worthy at all.
It is not how I tell myself I can live without them anyway.
Then I get to understand...
The word, "friendship" has to be re-defined in my life.
It was when I realized, the people who are most concerned about me, are the people who will not come to my mind immediately. We aren't the closest that I would have thought of. But they're are the ones there for me in the end. I didn't share my joy with them, but they share theirs with me. I gave them tons of shit to handle, yet they are the ones who tell me not to worry about them, but the most important thing is to get well soon. When they know I feel bad about something, they assure me so many times that everything is fine.. I feel so comforted.. I feel the warmth that I know I'll never ever get from my good friends anymore.
It was when 1 of my juniors came & tell me something simple, and that was what evoked my tears. The most simple way of showing concern. And all the sms-es & msn messages that came through yesterday. They make me realize I still have so many friends who will be there for me no matter what.
I will not complain how none of these people are my good friends anymore.
It is not important to me anymore.
It is more important to be satisfied with the warmth I get from the friends who truly care.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
I seriously hate myself for being sick twice in just a week.
I'm supposed to be at T.H.E. Seniors MAF and Training Workshop now, but here I am blogging about how much I hate myself. I feel so bad for not being able to be there, especially there will be so many things to deal with today since it is a special event celebration. There's so much I wish I can do today, but I totally hate myself for being sick at the wrong time.
I'm not that sick enough to lie in bed the whole day, having no energy to do anything at all. But I chose not to go because I must think of the welfare of the elderly. I don't want to pass my sickness to them. But yet, I can't do anything for the comm when I know we're all going to need a lot of help and support from one another since this is the 1st special event planned by the new comm.
I think I'm such a lousy vice. Forgetting to collect the canned food. Letting others collect mooncakes on my behalf. Unable to give clear answers to the new comm even though I've been in T.H.E. Seniors for a year. Is that the best I can do? Being sick is not an excuse for shirking responsibilities. I'm sure I can definitely do better than this.
I hate myself right now, this moment.
I'm supposed to be at T.H.E. Seniors MAF and Training Workshop now, but here I am blogging about how much I hate myself. I feel so bad for not being able to be there, especially there will be so many things to deal with today since it is a special event celebration. There's so much I wish I can do today, but I totally hate myself for being sick at the wrong time.
I'm not that sick enough to lie in bed the whole day, having no energy to do anything at all. But I chose not to go because I must think of the welfare of the elderly. I don't want to pass my sickness to them. But yet, I can't do anything for the comm when I know we're all going to need a lot of help and support from one another since this is the 1st special event planned by the new comm.
I think I'm such a lousy vice. Forgetting to collect the canned food. Letting others collect mooncakes on my behalf. Unable to give clear answers to the new comm even though I've been in T.H.E. Seniors for a year. Is that the best I can do? Being sick is not an excuse for shirking responsibilities. I'm sure I can definitely do better than this.
I hate myself right now, this moment.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
We had our 1st comm general meeting yesterday! It was fun, especially with Wynne around being so thick-skinned most of the time. The rest of them had fun either shooting her back, or totally "ignored" her. Haha... I'm glad that the 2 guys are easygoing as well, even though their job scope seem to "grow" after we combined their Welfare/Publicity roles and have both of them on the job. Even though they're all very new, but I'm confident that they'll do a great job for the year! Praying hard for outings soon after exams! =D
I felt so accomplished yesterday as well! I forced myself to complete my CS2105 assignment 3 that was due today. I had like 3 hours after lessons in school since I had to wait for the rest to have our meeting at 6pm. Time flies even when you're working hard! I was really concentrating on doing my assignment the whole time, I didn't even realize the time. I even got started on my CS2261 assignment! Now I'm a happy girl!
But then again... Monday is never a good day for me. It's the day I have to run around for different tutorials even though the hours are short. And I guessed I didn't really rest well the day before, and being so hardworking throughout the day, I got home with a headache. I thought it would be gone after a good night of sleep. I had no idea when was the last time I went to sleep at 11pm. But still, I woke up at 2am & 4am respectively, the typical me who can never sleep for more than 5hours straight properly. Anyway, my headache would usually be caused by fatigue, and be gone after I sleep.
However, not this time round. It was quite terrible, especially with the hot weather today. It wasn't so bad in the morning, but got worse by the day. Luckily I sms-ed in to say I won't be going to work. Seriously, I think it's his luck for employing me! Haha...
Oh well... I spent my supposedly working hours sleeping, and yet my headache didn't go away. Totally feel like dying.. But still, I still need to continue to do my CS2261 assignment. It's not difficult, but it's very tiring doing so many things for it.. T.T
I felt so accomplished yesterday as well! I forced myself to complete my CS2105 assignment 3 that was due today. I had like 3 hours after lessons in school since I had to wait for the rest to have our meeting at 6pm. Time flies even when you're working hard! I was really concentrating on doing my assignment the whole time, I didn't even realize the time. I even got started on my CS2261 assignment! Now I'm a happy girl!
But then again... Monday is never a good day for me. It's the day I have to run around for different tutorials even though the hours are short. And I guessed I didn't really rest well the day before, and being so hardworking throughout the day, I got home with a headache. I thought it would be gone after a good night of sleep. I had no idea when was the last time I went to sleep at 11pm. But still, I woke up at 2am & 4am respectively, the typical me who can never sleep for more than 5hours straight properly. Anyway, my headache would usually be caused by fatigue, and be gone after I sleep.
However, not this time round. It was quite terrible, especially with the hot weather today. It wasn't so bad in the morning, but got worse by the day. Luckily I sms-ed in to say I won't be going to work. Seriously, I think it's his luck for employing me! Haha...
Oh well... I spent my supposedly working hours sleeping, and yet my headache didn't go away. Totally feel like dying.. But still, I still need to continue to do my CS2261 assignment. It's not difficult, but it's very tiring doing so many things for it.. T.T
Friday, October 16, 2009
Purple is love! =D
This is my new purple jacket. It's much nicer in real life! Somehow, it looks like the purple metallic balloons I had during my birthday party here. But it's not even really like that! Haha... It's so chio!
And this is the SMG purple cap that I requested IvalynLJY to buy for me today! So cool too!
So I met up with Ivalyn at Tanjong Pagar on my way home to get it for her & pay her. Ivalyn said she was bored waiting for me, so I kept making her guess whether I was on the train already. Haha... After that we took the green line heading towards Pasir Ris to go home.
We had a small argument whether she should alight at Raffle Place or City Hall to head back to Ang Mo Kio. Ivalyn insisted that it should be City Hall, because she had taken it SO MANY TIMES. In the end, I won! Haha... I bet she enjoyed taking the escalator to the platform to change train at City Hall. BLEH! =P
I shall go and do my lab soon! There's T.H.E.S tomorrow too! =D
And this is the SMG purple cap that I requested IvalynLJY to buy for me today! So cool too!
So I met up with Ivalyn at Tanjong Pagar on my way home to get it for her & pay her. Ivalyn said she was bored waiting for me, so I kept making her guess whether I was on the train already. Haha... After that we took the green line heading towards Pasir Ris to go home.
We had a small argument whether she should alight at Raffle Place or City Hall to head back to Ang Mo Kio. Ivalyn insisted that it should be City Hall, because she had taken it SO MANY TIMES. In the end, I won! Haha... I bet she enjoyed taking the escalator to the platform to change train at City Hall. BLEH! =P
I shall go and do my lab soon! There's T.H.E.S tomorrow too! =D
I think I'm the laziest person on earth.
I invited myself to contribute to this blog because I don't want to keep signing in and out of gmail whenever I login to blog. Haha...
I force people who borrow my laptop to use gmail to use Google Chrome because I don't want them to sign out my personal gmail in Firefox and an important email in I.E..
Sometimes I wonder if I'm a Leo. Sometimes I think I'm definitely a Leo too. I think I'm confused by myself. Haha...
A Leo is supposed to be born as a leader. Does preferring to perform tasks as an assistant leader considered a leader? I mean, a Leo is supposed to be very strong in leadership, so they will want the top position to leading. But for me, I don't mind running a leadership position, but if I have the choice, I want to have a leader on top of me & run around my leader assisting him or her. I don't know, but I really love assisting jobs! I don't want to take the main leadership role in JJFC website team, I'm enjoying myself as the vice in my RVP, and I always tend to apply assistant positions in SPs. What's wrong with me? I'm supposed to be a Leo right? Hmm...
5 people actually didn't recognize me in school today because I tied up my hair! Then again, it's not the 1st time I tied up my hair in school what. I've tied a few times since the last few weeks. I just feel that my hair is too messy sometimes as it grows longer now, so I've decided to tie it up. I know it looks like 草 now, but I refused to cut it! My hair is rather thick, so the hairdresser always like to 修薄 my hair, which leads to my hair in different lengths. They always do horrible things to my hair. If I cut now, some of my hair will 翘 at the weirdest length. Maybe I should grow a little longer until the shortest part grow beyond the 翘 stage as well.
Ohh! I bought a super cool purple jacket just now! It's all Anna's fault! She wanted to look for a particular type of skirt but those in BHG are so expensive! So I brought her to Bugis Street to buy. In search for her skirt, it was so tempting to buy that AA jacket. I was hesitating so long to decide if I should buy the black one or the purple one. I knew I should stop filling my wardrobe with purple clothing. But! The purple jacket is so tempting that I ended up buying it in purple again. Haha...
And my Betwo loots arrived! I'm so happy! 2 2-piece dresses, a skirt and a pair of shorts! I love 2-pieces! And that's why I love Betwo, because they sell so many chio 2-pieces at cheap prices. And why people don't believe I have dresses & skirts at home? I do have quite a number of them! It just that I don't wear them for you all to see, because I love shorts more. Haha...
Okay, then again.. I'm broke. Haha... I want year-end bonus. And my boss says, "zx is nice, can give a bit". I shall keep my msn history as proof that he said that before. Haha!!!
I invited myself to contribute to this blog because I don't want to keep signing in and out of gmail whenever I login to blog. Haha...
I force people who borrow my laptop to use gmail to use Google Chrome because I don't want them to sign out my personal gmail in Firefox and an important email in I.E..
Sometimes I wonder if I'm a Leo. Sometimes I think I'm definitely a Leo too. I think I'm confused by myself. Haha...
A Leo is supposed to be born as a leader. Does preferring to perform tasks as an assistant leader considered a leader? I mean, a Leo is supposed to be very strong in leadership, so they will want the top position to leading. But for me, I don't mind running a leadership position, but if I have the choice, I want to have a leader on top of me & run around my leader assisting him or her. I don't know, but I really love assisting jobs! I don't want to take the main leadership role in JJFC website team, I'm enjoying myself as the vice in my RVP, and I always tend to apply assistant positions in SPs. What's wrong with me? I'm supposed to be a Leo right? Hmm...
5 people actually didn't recognize me in school today because I tied up my hair! Then again, it's not the 1st time I tied up my hair in school what. I've tied a few times since the last few weeks. I just feel that my hair is too messy sometimes as it grows longer now, so I've decided to tie it up. I know it looks like 草 now, but I refused to cut it! My hair is rather thick, so the hairdresser always like to 修薄 my hair, which leads to my hair in different lengths. They always do horrible things to my hair. If I cut now, some of my hair will 翘 at the weirdest length. Maybe I should grow a little longer until the shortest part grow beyond the 翘 stage as well.
Ohh! I bought a super cool purple jacket just now! It's all Anna's fault! She wanted to look for a particular type of skirt but those in BHG are so expensive! So I brought her to Bugis Street to buy. In search for her skirt, it was so tempting to buy that AA jacket. I was hesitating so long to decide if I should buy the black one or the purple one. I knew I should stop filling my wardrobe with purple clothing. But! The purple jacket is so tempting that I ended up buying it in purple again. Haha...
And my Betwo loots arrived! I'm so happy! 2 2-piece dresses, a skirt and a pair of shorts! I love 2-pieces! And that's why I love Betwo, because they sell so many chio 2-pieces at cheap prices. And why people don't believe I have dresses & skirts at home? I do have quite a number of them! It just that I don't wear them for you all to see, because I love shorts more. Haha...
Okay, then again.. I'm broke. Haha... I want year-end bonus. And my boss says, "zx is nice, can give a bit". I shall keep my msn history as proof that he said that before. Haha!!!
Monday, October 12, 2009
If you think our friendship can wait, then you're so wrong.
I've already moved on..
Time waits for no man.
Waits for no man to catch up what you called friendship.
I've tried, but you haven't..
You can take your time to make your decision.
But remember.
You've lost me as a friend.
Mugging in process.
Mugging about process.
I'm like so lost in Operating Systems..
AAHH...
I've already moved on..
Time waits for no man.
Waits for no man to catch up what you called friendship.
I've tried, but you haven't..
You can take your time to make your decision.
But remember.
You've lost me as a friend.
Mugging in process.
Mugging about process.
I'm like so lost in Operating Systems..
AAHH...
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Every little thing is worth to be happy about.
Why should we follow what others do?
Why should we have what others have?
Why are we always trying to compare with others?
I guess I do compare a lot about my friends too. And I do make different opinions of my friends as well. That is why different friends stand different positions in my heart at different times. I know I have got closer to some of them. And I have drifted apart from others as well.
Sometimes I wonder.. Is it me who choose to drift apart from these friends? Or is it them who choose to drift apart from me? Or... Is it me who choose to drift apart from them because I think they have drifted apart from me? I think I think a lot at times. I have no idea why.
What I don't understand is.. Why are some people unhappy about my decisions in life? They do not show it directly, but I can sense it, to the extent that I actually feel uncomfortable being around. I mean, if I'm happy, they should be happy for me too. Even if I disagree how some of my friends live their life, I'll still wish them the best. There is no right or wrong in life. It doesn't mean that if I change, I am not your friend anymore. I really don't like people judging my life, especially people whom I used to be or are still close to right now. What makes people think I'll be happier if my life has never changed in the way it does right now?
If you ask me, I'm very happy with my life right now.
I have a heavy commitment in my CCA that takes away my time & energy, but I have a supportive leader. I'm very proud to have her as my chairperson. Despite her busier schedule than mine, she does not push everything to me. Forgetfulness is her nature, and I try to accommodate with it. I know she doesn't forget a lot things on purpose, but she really has too many things to remember. As the vice, I try to lighten her workload in the areas that I can. I know there are many things that she could just ask me to do, but she doesn't take advantage of me. There are times where I made mistakes out of carelessness or thoughtlessness, she took responsibility of them & did not push it to me just because I was the one at fault. She apologizes so many times whenever she is late, and not act like nothing has happened. She includes me in leading, not because she is lazy to do it, but I just feel that she recognizes me as her vice and just want to involve me into the process.
Who am I to deserve such respect from her? I've learnt from many events that being the vice is not easy. The leader & the vice usually do not share the same status as the leader is always the one with more authority power. But this is 1 of the few times that I do feel that she makes it no difference between me & her. She doesn't feel that I'm overtaking her position whenever I try to help or remind her, neither does she exclude me in any important decision making.
Moreover, I feel very happy being in my RVP. It does takes up my time & energy. But it is the smiles and happiness you see in the elderly in return that makes you smile too. Sometimes, we just have to think it in a different way. We help them by paying visits to them and keep them company. In return, it's the elderly who help us in learning about many things that we have taken granted in life.
I have a part-time job that pays peanuts, but I have a fabulous funny boss. I'm not kidding that my job really pays me that little and the even more little amount of hours I put in each week, I'm very certain it doesn't really make a difference in keeping up with my expenditure at all. I do complain that my job is tedious and get scoldings from clients all the time, but I'm actually beginning to enjoy my job. I guess it's partly because I do not work under much stress and I'm a rather tolerant person when it comes to be being scolded by strangers.
I do not work under stress because my boss doesn't demand of me. It does sounds weird, but it's really true. He always hopes for me to work longer hours, but he doesn't force me to if I don't want to. In fact, I choose my own working hours. It's almost as if like I come & leave whenever I like. It is quite amazing he doesn't question about my work ability as well, precisely the very reason that I know I'm not performing at all myself too. I haven't been working very long for him, but he already trusts me a lot. I do not have a timesheet, and I do not have to report when I reach or when I leave. He doesn't take notice of how many hours I work, he just believe whatever hours I say whenever he gives me my pay. Of course, I don't cheat him right. I'm an honest person as well. =D
What else can I request in my job? It's already very funny of my request to wear shorts to work. The answer is actually, "Why not?" okay! I'm not surprised! Haha... That is why there are the reasons why I'm willing to help him to ask about so many things in my CCA. He doesn't demand, he requests. So... Now everyone knows he is rich. Haha...
Lastly, I have many supportive friends who gives me all the encouragement that I could have. They have helped me learn about so many things that I don't used to know. The encouragement they give me, is all the courage that I need. I never know that I can do so many things that I'm taking up now, which I always think they are impossible for me. They are the ones who make me believe I'm possible. Without them, I'll always feel so lousy like before. These are the friends who are ever so willing to help me, no matter if I succeed or fail. I'll always remember the small details of my strength that they pay attention to that I do not even notice myself.
If I never try, I'll never know.
If I never try, I'll never succeed.
If I never try, I'll not even have the chance to think it will happen.
If I never try, I'll not be the one who is standing in front of you right now.
Why should we have what others have?
Why are we always trying to compare with others?
I guess I do compare a lot about my friends too. And I do make different opinions of my friends as well. That is why different friends stand different positions in my heart at different times. I know I have got closer to some of them. And I have drifted apart from others as well.
Sometimes I wonder.. Is it me who choose to drift apart from these friends? Or is it them who choose to drift apart from me? Or... Is it me who choose to drift apart from them because I think they have drifted apart from me? I think I think a lot at times. I have no idea why.
What I don't understand is.. Why are some people unhappy about my decisions in life? They do not show it directly, but I can sense it, to the extent that I actually feel uncomfortable being around. I mean, if I'm happy, they should be happy for me too. Even if I disagree how some of my friends live their life, I'll still wish them the best. There is no right or wrong in life. It doesn't mean that if I change, I am not your friend anymore. I really don't like people judging my life, especially people whom I used to be or are still close to right now. What makes people think I'll be happier if my life has never changed in the way it does right now?
If you ask me, I'm very happy with my life right now.
I have a heavy commitment in my CCA that takes away my time & energy, but I have a supportive leader. I'm very proud to have her as my chairperson. Despite her busier schedule than mine, she does not push everything to me. Forgetfulness is her nature, and I try to accommodate with it. I know she doesn't forget a lot things on purpose, but she really has too many things to remember. As the vice, I try to lighten her workload in the areas that I can. I know there are many things that she could just ask me to do, but she doesn't take advantage of me. There are times where I made mistakes out of carelessness or thoughtlessness, she took responsibility of them & did not push it to me just because I was the one at fault. She apologizes so many times whenever she is late, and not act like nothing has happened. She includes me in leading, not because she is lazy to do it, but I just feel that she recognizes me as her vice and just want to involve me into the process.
Who am I to deserve such respect from her? I've learnt from many events that being the vice is not easy. The leader & the vice usually do not share the same status as the leader is always the one with more authority power. But this is 1 of the few times that I do feel that she makes it no difference between me & her. She doesn't feel that I'm overtaking her position whenever I try to help or remind her, neither does she exclude me in any important decision making.
Moreover, I feel very happy being in my RVP. It does takes up my time & energy. But it is the smiles and happiness you see in the elderly in return that makes you smile too. Sometimes, we just have to think it in a different way. We help them by paying visits to them and keep them company. In return, it's the elderly who help us in learning about many things that we have taken granted in life.
I have a part-time job that pays peanuts, but I have a fabulous funny boss. I'm not kidding that my job really pays me that little and the even more little amount of hours I put in each week, I'm very certain it doesn't really make a difference in keeping up with my expenditure at all. I do complain that my job is tedious and get scoldings from clients all the time, but I'm actually beginning to enjoy my job. I guess it's partly because I do not work under much stress and I'm a rather tolerant person when it comes to be being scolded by strangers.
I do not work under stress because my boss doesn't demand of me. It does sounds weird, but it's really true. He always hopes for me to work longer hours, but he doesn't force me to if I don't want to. In fact, I choose my own working hours. It's almost as if like I come & leave whenever I like. It is quite amazing he doesn't question about my work ability as well, precisely the very reason that I know I'm not performing at all myself too. I haven't been working very long for him, but he already trusts me a lot. I do not have a timesheet, and I do not have to report when I reach or when I leave. He doesn't take notice of how many hours I work, he just believe whatever hours I say whenever he gives me my pay. Of course, I don't cheat him right. I'm an honest person as well. =D
What else can I request in my job? It's already very funny of my request to wear shorts to work. The answer is actually, "Why not?" okay! I'm not surprised! Haha... That is why there are the reasons why I'm willing to help him to ask about so many things in my CCA. He doesn't demand, he requests. So... Now everyone knows he is rich. Haha...
Lastly, I have many supportive friends who gives me all the encouragement that I could have. They have helped me learn about so many things that I don't used to know. The encouragement they give me, is all the courage that I need. I never know that I can do so many things that I'm taking up now, which I always think they are impossible for me. They are the ones who make me believe I'm possible. Without them, I'll always feel so lousy like before. These are the friends who are ever so willing to help me, no matter if I succeed or fail. I'll always remember the small details of my strength that they pay attention to that I do not even notice myself.
If I never try, I'll never know.
If I never try, I'll never succeed.
If I never try, I'll not even have the chance to think it will happen.
If I never try, I'll not be the one who is standing in front of you right now.
Friday, October 09, 2009
I seriously think I'm e evil twin of my boss born 5 years later.
I'm a joker. My boss is a joker too. I always think I'm the only person who loves to spell my name backwards. He does it too. And I always find some of his replies to me funny, though I will only laugh secretly. Oops!
Seriously, having a young flexible boss rocks! I totally hate my previous boss! Perhaps it's the comparison that makes me love working for my current boss. I was doing my reading on "Managing Your Boss" the night before. I fit into most of the descriptions of the counterdependent behaviour type of employee. It means my boss has to be a very, very good leader to me, otherwise I'll resent the fact that they are unsuitable to be a leader.
"A counterdependent person is difficult to manage..."
"... apt to have even more trouble with a boss who tends to be directive or authoritarian"
"When acts on his or her negative feelings, often in subtle and nonverbal ways, the boss sometimes does become the enemy."
"is often a good manager of his or her own people..."
"will many times go out of the way to get support for them and will not hesitate to go to bat for them."
Okay, I must remember I owe my boss $5 because both of us had no change. I'm sure I'll forget about it. Someone please remind me! =D
Oh yes! The best thing about my boss is, He says JJ is good! =D And so, I've willingly lent him 4 of my JJ albums! It's nice to share JJ's music to people who appreciate JJ's music!
I'm a joker. My boss is a joker too. I always think I'm the only person who loves to spell my name backwards. He does it too. And I always find some of his replies to me funny, though I will only laugh secretly. Oops!
Seriously, having a young flexible boss rocks! I totally hate my previous boss! Perhaps it's the comparison that makes me love working for my current boss. I was doing my reading on "Managing Your Boss" the night before. I fit into most of the descriptions of the counterdependent behaviour type of employee. It means my boss has to be a very, very good leader to me, otherwise I'll resent the fact that they are unsuitable to be a leader.
"A counterdependent person is difficult to manage..."
"... apt to have even more trouble with a boss who tends to be directive or authoritarian"
"When acts on his or her negative feelings, often in subtle and nonverbal ways, the boss sometimes does become the enemy."
"is often a good manager of his or her own people..."
"will many times go out of the way to get support for them and will not hesitate to go to bat for them."
Okay, I must remember I owe my boss $5 because both of us had no change. I'm sure I'll forget about it. Someone please remind me! =D
Oh yes! The best thing about my boss is, He says JJ is good! =D And so, I've willingly lent him 4 of my JJ albums! It's nice to share JJ's music to people who appreciate JJ's music!
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
I am very very pissed off!
I was very angry... When I saw that...
I'm not sure what I am angry with..
I already don't like that fact. So I don't even talk about that with her.
Please don't ask me why.
Now I think she copied off my idea. I wish I can believe it is coincidence. But I don't think it is.
It is not that I don't like her to copy me. But I just don't like what was copied into it.
Excuse me, if you look at mine, it's 3 dreams. But what she put into her, it's a piece of J**K! Totally destroy my whole image of the dreams. Yucks!
Only one person knows what I'm talking about.
I'm not angry with her. I just don't like that J**K.. As her friend, I wish I can do something about it. But sometimes, the truth hurts. It hurts so much that it is so unbearable to break the truth to others. Even though I have not seen that J**K before, but from the many things we see, we can see he's a real disgusting childish J**K! Because I showed it to her just before what was done.
Seriously.. What a joke!
I was very angry... When I saw that...
I'm not sure what I am angry with..
I already don't like that fact. So I don't even talk about that with her.
Please don't ask me why.
Now I think she copied off my idea. I wish I can believe it is coincidence. But I don't think it is.
It is not that I don't like her to copy me. But I just don't like what was copied into it.
Excuse me, if you look at mine, it's 3 dreams. But what she put into her, it's a piece of J**K! Totally destroy my whole image of the dreams. Yucks!
Only one person knows what I'm talking about.
I'm not angry with her. I just don't like that J**K.. As her friend, I wish I can do something about it. But sometimes, the truth hurts. It hurts so much that it is so unbearable to break the truth to others. Even though I have not seen that J**K before, but from the many things we see, we can see he's a real disgusting childish J**K! Because I showed it to her just before what was done.
Seriously.. What a joke!
I went singing KTV! =D
It's been a while ever since I went for KTV. Not as if I'm a frequent k-ster. But as compared to the number of times I've went during the last long holidays, I really missed singing so much! This was the 1st time I went singing since school started.
Singing is FUN!
Look what school has done to me. 1 test, 1 paper, 1 assignment, and 1 lab practically took my soul away. I've been sleeping lesser and lesser as everyday passes. It is kind of hectic and crazy already even though my timetable is supposed to be slack. I seriously need proper time management!
A few interesting things have happened over the week and I'm very pleased with every single one of them. They shall not be named. Haha... They are getting more interested by the day as well. I totally live on them! =D
It's been a while ever since I went for KTV. Not as if I'm a frequent k-ster. But as compared to the number of times I've went during the last long holidays, I really missed singing so much! This was the 1st time I went singing since school started.
Singing is FUN!
Look what school has done to me. 1 test, 1 paper, 1 assignment, and 1 lab practically took my soul away. I've been sleeping lesser and lesser as everyday passes. It is kind of hectic and crazy already even though my timetable is supposed to be slack. I seriously need proper time management!
A few interesting things have happened over the week and I'm very pleased with every single one of them. They shall not be named. Haha... They are getting more interested by the day as well. I totally live on them! =D
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Purple is love! =D
Purple is such a tempting shit!
I was spreeing and I wanted to get everything in purple because everything looks nice in purple! I think if you open my wardrobe, the main colours are black, white, and purple. Haha...
I'm so tempted to buy these cute socks, especially those purple ones.. Any idea where I can get them??
Huilin was exclaiming that I'm famous in school. People that I don't know, or do not know me in person actually know who I am. "Oh! That girl in purple right?" Oh my! I don't even know other people will notice me because I wear purple. I mean, I don't even carry a purple bag! And they can't see the things in my bag what! Lol... Somemore I go for lessons and go home right after lessons. I don't even hang out much in school. =.=
Anyway, I exclaimed at the amount of stationery I have at home! 1 set for school, 1 set for working at home. I never realized that I wasted so much money getting new ones, not knowing I actually have so many old ones left. I guess it'll be a long time before I visit Popular again. Haha...
And this is the chio purple HD leather casing I'm talking about! Great buy! =D (My brother says it looks like a wallet though, I wish I have a new purse that looks like that too! =D)
Here's my super chio purple hair rubber band! It's super cool ok! When I bought it, I thought there were many thin pieces inside. I don't like thin rubber bands because I need to use 2 to 3 to hold up my rather thick hair. Somemore, I tend to lose them easily when I have too many pieces. But I still bought it anyway, because it looks so chio in so many shades of purple. In the end, I realize it's a 1-piece! (I twisted the piece into 2 rounds in the picture.)
Anyway, I think the only thing I'll score distinction in NUS is screwing up my tests/exams. CS2105 test is relatively easy, just that there's too many Ms to remember & I always mix them up! QAM, PAM, PCM, DM, FDM, TDM, etc.. You see what I mean? How I wish I can die doing assignments after assignments without tests/exams torture!
The only M that I'll gladly remember for life is Money!
Oh well.. The test is over.. I'll be glad to touch on my CS2105 assignment & CS2106 labtomorrow later. Hopefully I can finish them by Tuesday so I can go KTV with "I can't live w/o KTV" gang..
Week 8 is e-learning week! A much relaxing week with all the tests/assignments clearing off before they start piling up to due again in Week 10/11. I seriously think I need to buck up soon.
I think I just feel damn guilty about changing my work time and hour over and over again! Haha... Who the hell would stand your employee to come & go as they wish, and informing last minute again that she'll be late or even not going anymore? Only Jack does, I think. Haha! Okay, I still feel damn bad about it myself because I don't really like getting used of taking advantage of his flexibility. If I ever get used to it, I think I'll be so dead in the future. Boo...
I was spreeing and I wanted to get everything in purple because everything looks nice in purple! I think if you open my wardrobe, the main colours are black, white, and purple. Haha...
I'm so tempted to buy these cute socks, especially those purple ones.. Any idea where I can get them??
Huilin was exclaiming that I'm famous in school. People that I don't know, or do not know me in person actually know who I am. "Oh! That girl in purple right?" Oh my! I don't even know other people will notice me because I wear purple. I mean, I don't even carry a purple bag! And they can't see the things in my bag what! Lol... Somemore I go for lessons and go home right after lessons. I don't even hang out much in school. =.=
Anyway, I exclaimed at the amount of stationery I have at home! 1 set for school, 1 set for working at home. I never realized that I wasted so much money getting new ones, not knowing I actually have so many old ones left. I guess it'll be a long time before I visit Popular again. Haha...
And this is the chio purple HD leather casing I'm talking about! Great buy! =D (My brother says it looks like a wallet though, I wish I have a new purse that looks like that too! =D)
Here's my super chio purple hair rubber band! It's super cool ok! When I bought it, I thought there were many thin pieces inside. I don't like thin rubber bands because I need to use 2 to 3 to hold up my rather thick hair. Somemore, I tend to lose them easily when I have too many pieces. But I still bought it anyway, because it looks so chio in so many shades of purple. In the end, I realize it's a 1-piece! (I twisted the piece into 2 rounds in the picture.)
Anyway, I think the only thing I'll score distinction in NUS is screwing up my tests/exams. CS2105 test is relatively easy, just that there's too many Ms to remember & I always mix them up! QAM, PAM, PCM, DM, FDM, TDM, etc.. You see what I mean? How I wish I can die doing assignments after assignments without tests/exams torture!
The only M that I'll gladly remember for life is Money!
Oh well.. The test is over.. I'll be glad to touch on my CS2105 assignment & CS2106 lab
Week 8 is e-learning week! A much relaxing week with all the tests/assignments clearing off before they start piling up to due again in Week 10/11. I seriously think I need to buck up soon.
I think I just feel damn guilty about changing my work time and hour over and over again! Haha... Who the hell would stand your employee to come & go as they wish, and informing last minute again that she'll be late or even not going anymore? Only Jack does, I think. Haha! Okay, I still feel damn bad about it myself because I don't really like getting used of taking advantage of his flexibility. If I ever get used to it, I think I'll be so dead in the future. Boo...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
JJ, Rynn & Ethan! *drools*
Now I can start staring at these gorgeous guys & drool over them when I come to my blog!
I wanted to find a nicer picture of JJ in red! But that's the closest I could get! Hmph!
I know I'm supposed to be mugging...
But I can't resist myself for looking at cute/shuai guys!
I don't care if the red doesn't fit into the purple background.. But I think it'll look so much nicer than the 3 of them wearing purple with a purple background. And I think I'll have a harder time finding Rynn in purple than I find JJ wearing red. Hahaha...
And I think I'm too obsessed today! I'm in an especially good mood today, which I don't know why! Hahaha...
I wanted to find a nicer picture of JJ in red! But that's the closest I could get! Hmph!
I know I'm supposed to be mugging...
But I can't resist myself for looking at cute/shuai guys!
I don't care if the red doesn't fit into the purple background.. But I think it'll look so much nicer than the 3 of them wearing purple with a purple background. And I think I'll have a harder time finding Rynn in purple than I find JJ wearing red. Hahaha...
And I think I'm too obsessed today! I'm in an especially good mood today, which I don't know why! Hahaha...
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