Why should we follow what others do?
Why should we have what others have?
Why are we always trying to compare with others?
I guess I do compare a lot about my friends too. And I do make different opinions of my friends as well. That is why different friends stand different positions in my heart at different times. I know I have got closer to some of them. And I have drifted apart from others as well.
Sometimes I wonder.. Is it me who choose to drift apart from these friends? Or is it them who choose to drift apart from me? Or... Is it me who choose to drift apart from them because I think they have drifted apart from me? I think I think a lot at times. I have no idea why.
What I don't understand is.. Why are some people unhappy about my decisions in life? They do not show it directly, but I can sense it, to the extent that I actually feel uncomfortable being around. I mean, if I'm happy, they should be happy for me too. Even if I disagree how some of my friends live their life, I'll still wish them the best. There is no right or wrong in life. It doesn't mean that if I change, I am not your friend anymore. I really don't like people judging my life, especially people whom I used to be or are still close to right now. What makes people think I'll be happier if my life has never changed in the way it does right now?
If you ask me, I'm very happy with my life right now.
I have a heavy commitment in my CCA that takes away my time & energy, but I have a supportive leader. I'm very proud to have her as my chairperson. Despite her busier schedule than mine, she does not push everything to me. Forgetfulness is her nature, and I try to accommodate with it. I know she doesn't forget a lot things on purpose, but she really has too many things to remember. As the vice, I try to lighten her workload in the areas that I can. I know there are many things that she could just ask me to do, but she doesn't take advantage of me. There are times where I made mistakes out of carelessness or thoughtlessness, she took responsibility of them & did not push it to me just because I was the one at fault. She apologizes so many times whenever she is late, and not act like nothing has happened. She includes me in leading, not because she is lazy to do it, but I just feel that she recognizes me as her vice and just want to involve me into the process.
Who am I to deserve such respect from her? I've learnt from many events that being the vice is not easy. The leader & the vice usually do not share the same status as the leader is always the one with more authority power. But this is 1 of the few times that I do feel that she makes it no difference between me & her. She doesn't feel that I'm overtaking her position whenever I try to help or remind her, neither does she exclude me in any important decision making.
Moreover, I feel very happy being in my RVP. It does takes up my time & energy. But it is the smiles and happiness you see in the elderly in return that makes you smile too. Sometimes, we just have to think it in a different way. We help them by paying visits to them and keep them company. In return, it's the elderly who help us in learning about many things that we have taken granted in life.
I have a part-time job that pays peanuts, but I have a fabulous funny boss. I'm not kidding that my job really pays me that little and the even more little amount of hours I put in each week, I'm very certain it doesn't really make a difference in keeping up with my expenditure at all. I do complain that my job is tedious and get scoldings from clients all the time, but I'm actually beginning to enjoy my job. I guess it's partly because I do not work under much stress and I'm a rather tolerant person when it comes to be being scolded by strangers.
I do not work under stress because my boss doesn't demand of me. It does sounds weird, but it's really true. He always hopes for me to work longer hours, but he doesn't force me to if I don't want to. In fact, I choose my own working hours. It's almost as if like I come & leave whenever I like. It is quite amazing he doesn't question about my work ability as well, precisely the very reason that I know I'm not performing at all myself too. I haven't been working very long for him, but he already trusts me a lot. I do not have a timesheet, and I do not have to report when I reach or when I leave. He doesn't take notice of how many hours I work, he just believe whatever hours I say whenever he gives me my pay. Of course, I don't cheat him right. I'm an honest person as well. =D
What else can I request in my job? It's already very funny of my request to wear shorts to work. The answer is actually, "Why not?" okay! I'm not surprised! Haha... That is why there are the reasons why I'm willing to help him to ask about so many things in my CCA. He doesn't demand, he requests. So... Now everyone knows he is rich. Haha...
Lastly, I have many supportive friends who gives me all the encouragement that I could have. They have helped me learn about so many things that I don't used to know. The encouragement they give me, is all the courage that I need. I never know that I can do so many things that I'm taking up now, which I always think they are impossible for me. They are the ones who make me believe I'm possible. Without them, I'll always feel so lousy like before. These are the friends who are ever so willing to help me, no matter if I succeed or fail. I'll always remember the small details of my strength that they pay attention to that I do not even notice myself.
If I never try, I'll never know.
If I never try, I'll never succeed.
If I never try, I'll not even have the chance to think it will happen.
If I never try, I'll not be the one who is standing in front of you right now.
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