HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY TO BELOVED HTHT!
I'm so glad to have known her in e6! At first, I thought she has her own clique of friends & does not appear to be easy to get close with. But I was so wrong.. She is so much amiable than I thought. After we have gotten to know each other better through the Charis+Auxo allies, we get to know each other better. Now that both of us are in THES, I'm sure our friendship will continue to rock on. Moreover, I'll be spending most of my Dec/Jan holidays with her together with the other 3 programmers for CSC Day!
There is something that I always wish I could tell her personally. But I'm really shy about saying all these in person to her. I know she might not get to read this, so I'll write my appreciation here. For some friendship, I feel that we can be really close when we hang out a lot together, but once we all get busy with our own things, that closeness disappears. I think I regarded her friendship with me like this initially as well. I never stop to think how close we will be, or even care if we will be that close again. I have to say, I didn't put much effort in holding on to this friendship. I really have to thank HTHT for maintaining this bond so strongly that I have enough time to realize & cherish it.
I remembered very clearly what HTHT told me once. "Hey! We must continue to stay in contact once school reopens okay!" Some people may think this is just a passing remark. To me, it sticks to me for the longest time. It is partly because she really tries her best in doing so, and not just saying for the sake of saying. Like I say, I didn't put in any efforts. I didn't bother to make it a point to stay in contact. But she did. She really does wonders to me, that I begin to appreciate friends who I didn't appreciate properly in the past.
I guess it's really how amazing that fate can bring us closer through all these events even though I never once stop to think about how our friendship can go beyond than what we have today. I really cherish her a lot, because she is really 1 of the rare ones who is always willing to be there for me no matter things get tough or we just get together to have fun. I hope we will continue to be as close as now 10, 20, 30 years down the road. This time round, I will put in my part as well. =D
HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY TO DARREN!
I really appreciate him for inviting us to his 21st birthday party today! We have only known each other for less than 1 semester, yet he recognizes us as his close friends. It's really great to have him as 1 of our welfare/publicity for THES, because he is more enthusastic than I think he would be. Actually I love our THES comm because everyone is so fun-loving!
So Margaret, HTHT, HTHT's friend & I met at Yio Chu Kang & cabbed down to Selatar Country Club for Darren's birthday celebration. The cab uncle is really amazing! Darren said some of his friends were lost because the cab drivers didn't know how to get in. The environment & atmosphere was really great there. We just slacked there most of the time, because it is rude to read our notes.. hahaha...
3 people in 2 days come & tell me that 七天追到你 is very nice!
See! It shows I'm not biased towards Rynn's songs. =P It is really nice! I think his new songs are not very nice for the first time you hear them except 七天追到你. So a lot of people will not like them. But they are the 耐听 types. The more you listen, the more you will fall in love with them.
萧敬腾's 新不了情 is unbelievably LOVE!!!
I already feel like it's holidays! I have so many plans ahead!
Alicia & I have a plan to go her house for housewarming sleepover to watch 蜡笔小新 & 小叮当, also to piece puzzle together! It sounds so fun! wahaha...
And then, there is Ivalyn Lye Jun Yi. She said we agreed to go zoo together during the holidays, even though I really forget we talked about that before. Oops! Hahaha... But we still can go ok! I haven't been to the Zoo a long time! Yay! Haha...
Of course, there will be at least 1 date reserved just for ZARA LB!
And CSC Day OC is going to have our 1st bonding outing after 1 of the meetings. THES is planning for comm outing & volunteer outing as well..
Omg... I don't even know if I can make it for GYSB event to see JJ!
I need ALOT of time to do all these!!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
高校铁金刚
WAHAHA!
I've been watching 高校铁金刚 again!
This scene was super HILARIOUS! Rynn's face is really funny can! Keep me laughing like crazy! haha!!!
"是谁这样缺德把我的手放在你的肩膀上?"
I like his character in the show! Happy-go-lucky, love to act blur when he's damn smart! Forever scratching his head! wahaha...
I shall finished watching the episode & continue my mugging again! hahaha...
I've been watching 高校铁金刚 again!
This scene was super HILARIOUS! Rynn's face is really funny can! Keep me laughing like crazy! haha!!!
"是谁这样缺德把我的手放在你的肩膀上?"I like his character in the show! Happy-go-lucky, love to act blur when he's damn smart! Forever scratching his head! wahaha...
I shall finished watching the episode & continue my mugging again! hahaha...
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Have been mugging real hard these few days!
Feeling so tired every now & then.
But I must continue to work hard!
All this hard work is going to pay off real soon! =D
I wonder if I did grow up any bit from my thinking. Even though I'm still as childish as I can be.
There are many people who will share joy with me. I was happy about that. I used to be so proud of it, that I have many friends who love to have fun with me. Then I realized, this is not what I want at all.
Once the fun is over, I find myself lonely again. Real lonely.
Then I realized there is this bunch of people. A group of people who I have forgotten when I was having fun with those fun people. The people who I have never noticed properly that they have always been there for me no matter what happen. I felt lonely because I have never felt their presence. All I have always been thinking is, how I could leave my lonely life again & look forward to having fun with the fun people.
Slowly, I come to realize, the people who are my friends are not just those who choose to share their joy with me only. There are people who are willing to share both joy & go through hardship with me, all the time. It is just how I always failed to see them at all.
I do find myself happier after turning 21. Afterall, many things happened during my 21st, and I've seen the worst, and also the best I could have that day. That special day really made me realize many, many things, that I did not use to see. After that day, a lot of my perspectives changed.
I began to see the joy in going through hard times with people I love together. I wasn't going through them alone anymore. There are times when we complain at every little things together, there are times when we joke about every single thing that isn't funny at all together, there are times when we go "oops!" at our mistakes & poke fun at one another after that, and there are times when we just sit down & have fun together.
Many people have been asking me why I want to exhaust my whole December holidays just like that. I asked myself why as well. I mean, I can be having fun out there. I know JJ is coming back for that Zouk event. I know Rynn is coming back as well(previously). I even know that if I were to devote my whole holidays on that project, I will have to give up my chance of seeing them both. Moreover, I will have to rush & put in a lot of hard work & efforts so that the project will be successful in the end. So why do I still give up on my only chances of seeing them for the sake of the project?
Maybe a lot of people will not understand how I feel. That project is not a commitment. That project is not about hardship. It is all about the people I meet & these are the people who are willing to go through whatever hardship we will be facing real soon. No matter how tough things are going to be, we know we'll be fine. Because we are in for this together, so we will find our way out together. And I really look forward to seeing the outcome of the project. To see our efforts pay off, even for the shortest moment we can imagine, it is enough. Nothing more.
I don't understand why some people have to misunderstand the fact that I choose to give up seeing JJ or Rynn means I do not like them as much anymore. Not seeing them does not mean I support them any less than last time. Not saying out loud that I miss them does not mean I do not miss them at all. Everyone has their different ways of showing their support. And I just choose to do it in the silent way. I do miss them as much as most fans do, just that I don't think I need to say it out to prove that I miss them.
Thanks for that particular person who tells me, "You haven't seen JJ for a long time, you must have missed him. So just go for that event." Thanks! It really warms my heart to know there is someone who always knows me best.
Feeling so tired every now & then.
But I must continue to work hard!
All this hard work is going to pay off real soon! =D
I wonder if I did grow up any bit from my thinking. Even though I'm still as childish as I can be.
There are many people who will share joy with me. I was happy about that. I used to be so proud of it, that I have many friends who love to have fun with me. Then I realized, this is not what I want at all.
Once the fun is over, I find myself lonely again. Real lonely.
Then I realized there is this bunch of people. A group of people who I have forgotten when I was having fun with those fun people. The people who I have never noticed properly that they have always been there for me no matter what happen. I felt lonely because I have never felt their presence. All I have always been thinking is, how I could leave my lonely life again & look forward to having fun with the fun people.
Slowly, I come to realize, the people who are my friends are not just those who choose to share their joy with me only. There are people who are willing to share both joy & go through hardship with me, all the time. It is just how I always failed to see them at all.
I do find myself happier after turning 21. Afterall, many things happened during my 21st, and I've seen the worst, and also the best I could have that day. That special day really made me realize many, many things, that I did not use to see. After that day, a lot of my perspectives changed.
I began to see the joy in going through hard times with people I love together. I wasn't going through them alone anymore. There are times when we complain at every little things together, there are times when we joke about every single thing that isn't funny at all together, there are times when we go "oops!" at our mistakes & poke fun at one another after that, and there are times when we just sit down & have fun together.
Many people have been asking me why I want to exhaust my whole December holidays just like that. I asked myself why as well. I mean, I can be having fun out there. I know JJ is coming back for that Zouk event. I know Rynn is coming back as well(previously). I even know that if I were to devote my whole holidays on that project, I will have to give up my chance of seeing them both. Moreover, I will have to rush & put in a lot of hard work & efforts so that the project will be successful in the end. So why do I still give up on my only chances of seeing them for the sake of the project?
Maybe a lot of people will not understand how I feel. That project is not a commitment. That project is not about hardship. It is all about the people I meet & these are the people who are willing to go through whatever hardship we will be facing real soon. No matter how tough things are going to be, we know we'll be fine. Because we are in for this together, so we will find our way out together. And I really look forward to seeing the outcome of the project. To see our efforts pay off, even for the shortest moment we can imagine, it is enough. Nothing more.
I don't understand why some people have to misunderstand the fact that I choose to give up seeing JJ or Rynn means I do not like them as much anymore. Not seeing them does not mean I support them any less than last time. Not saying out loud that I miss them does not mean I do not miss them at all. Everyone has their different ways of showing their support. And I just choose to do it in the silent way. I do miss them as much as most fans do, just that I don't think I need to say it out to prove that I miss them.
Thanks for that particular person who tells me, "You haven't seen JJ for a long time, you must have missed him. So just go for that event." Thanks! It really warms my heart to know there is someone who always knows me best.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I'm only a YEAR 3 student officially next semester!
Why am I torturing myself with 2 level 3 modules, and 2 level 4 modules? That does not include MA1521! I think I must be crazy! Lousy at Maths, loading myself with 4 core modules..
Seriously, if I don't die the next semester, I think I will still die the semester after next. There will be no difference to die early or later. I must pray hard now that Nicholas's advice is right. After all, he graduated from CE, but I'm in IS major. *Slap me*
Anyway, we had our 1st OC meeting for CSC Day today.
Yup, I'm happy to be selected as the programme assistant! Nothing could be better than this! =D
So... we had a round of introduction to know everyone in the OC. And we got to learn more about our roles as well as the rough schedule for everything to be done.
I've guessed the workload to be heavy for programme cell after the interview. But it was unexpectedly rushed for everyone in the end. I think it was partly because of me as well. The second meeting is expected to be held soon after the programme cell came up with a draft with proposed ideas of themes and plans. So it was originally scheduled to have the last programmer to finish exams so that the programme cell has time to meet up and plan. And then, that person happens to be me. And my last exam ends on the last day of the whole exam period. How irritating to have a paper on the last day of exam!
We will have so much things to do! We will be spending so much time together in school during the holidays! But I'm sure it's going to be fun! It has to be!!!
Why am I torturing myself with 2 level 3 modules, and 2 level 4 modules? That does not include MA1521! I think I must be crazy! Lousy at Maths, loading myself with 4 core modules..
Seriously, if I don't die the next semester, I think I will still die the semester after next. There will be no difference to die early or later. I must pray hard now that Nicholas's advice is right. After all, he graduated from CE, but I'm in IS major. *Slap me*
Anyway, we had our 1st OC meeting for CSC Day today.
Yup, I'm happy to be selected as the programme assistant! Nothing could be better than this! =D
So... we had a round of introduction to know everyone in the OC. And we got to learn more about our roles as well as the rough schedule for everything to be done.
I've guessed the workload to be heavy for programme cell after the interview. But it was unexpectedly rushed for everyone in the end. I think it was partly because of me as well. The second meeting is expected to be held soon after the programme cell came up with a draft with proposed ideas of themes and plans. So it was originally scheduled to have the last programmer to finish exams so that the programme cell has time to meet up and plan. And then, that person happens to be me. And my last exam ends on the last day of the whole exam period. How irritating to have a paper on the last day of exam!
We will have so much things to do! We will be spending so much time together in school during the holidays! But I'm sure it's going to be fun! It has to be!!!
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I finally went out with ZARA LB on SaturdaY!
This is happiness! Wahaha...
We went to sing K! And I got to sing 彩虹! It was damn hilarious! I'm totally obsessed with that song right now! hahaha...
After our K session, we walked to Rina's house to slack. Actually, it was because Rina wanted to go home to put her things and she didn't drive to her lessons before that. ZA & I showed them e 彩虹 MV! It totally rocks! =D And we gossiped a lot! Okay... I think I gossiped the most.. OOPS!
After that, Rina drove us to Marina South Pier for dinner! We had fun taking photos before dinner! You can see how excited I was in the pictures below.. wahaha...
Anyway, our dinner totally rocked! And I mean, rock! We went on the ship or whatever you called it for dinner.. That is why it rocks.. hahaha...
Okay, as you can see... the way I'm typing... I'm kind of lazy to blog about the day spent with ZARA LB.
BUT I REALLY HAD FUN! =D
(I think I sound like a kid!)
This is happiness! Wahaha...
We went to sing K! And I got to sing 彩虹! It was damn hilarious! I'm totally obsessed with that song right now! hahaha...
After our K session, we walked to Rina's house to slack. Actually, it was because Rina wanted to go home to put her things and she didn't drive to her lessons before that. ZA & I showed them e 彩虹 MV! It totally rocks! =D And we gossiped a lot! Okay... I think I gossiped the most.. OOPS!
After that, Rina drove us to Marina South Pier for dinner! We had fun taking photos before dinner! You can see how excited I was in the pictures below.. wahaha...
Anyway, our dinner totally rocked! And I mean, rock! We went on the ship or whatever you called it for dinner.. That is why it rocks.. hahaha...
Okay, as you can see... the way I'm typing... I'm kind of lazy to blog about the day spent with ZARA LB.
BUT I REALLY HAD FUN! =D
(I think I sound like a kid!)
Friday, November 13, 2009
You know, after watching the 9pm show, I realized I'm actually like the who in the show.
I do not like to tell people directly why I am angry for some reasons, and want them to realize for themselves what exactly went wrong. No matter how sincere they are in their apologies, they still may not know what was the exact reason. I guess that is also the reason why many people misunderstood my intentions as unreasonable in the end.
I just feel that certain things are not supposed to be spoken out directly. If I tell them directly what is wrong, they may just realize it at that moment & apologize. Sometimes, it'll happen all over again. If people can realize what is wrong themselves, they will not forget that easily, because they realize.
I guess I'm just stubborn. Hmm...
I do not like to tell people directly why I am angry for some reasons, and want them to realize for themselves what exactly went wrong. No matter how sincere they are in their apologies, they still may not know what was the exact reason. I guess that is also the reason why many people misunderstood my intentions as unreasonable in the end.
I just feel that certain things are not supposed to be spoken out directly. If I tell them directly what is wrong, they may just realize it at that moment & apologize. Sometimes, it'll happen all over again. If people can realize what is wrong themselves, they will not forget that easily, because they realize.
I guess I'm just stubborn. Hmm...
I think I'm so efficient after I took my nap! I guess that is because nobody is online to distract me or for me to distract. Now I'm taking a break from that mugging.
I think I wasted a lot of time in school today! Oops!
Jocelyn & I were supposed to be in school for CS2105 assignment evaluation. We were done in 10minutes! And we got full marks! I hope the tutor would not change his mind. Haha... Yanzhu told me afterwards that his friend didn't do well because he used localhost or something like that. o.O I was surprised because I asked the tutor if we can use localhost because my laptop was starting up when Jocelyn was already ready. And he was okay with it. So weird right...
Anyway, I went from Science to Engineer to find Xinyi & Jiawei for lunch! Jocelyn "abandoned" me because she had already eaten! Haha... I haven't seen Xinyi for the longest of time! Lol... Anyway! It's the 1st time I saw Chen Hua in school! PHD student-to-be lehz... Don't joke!
After lunch, I had time to spare since there wasn't CS2261 lecture anymore. So I went back to Science with them because Xinyi was going to have her lessons there. On the way there, we saw Esther! Science student in Science! Okay... I'm so lame. After that, Jiawei & I went to Science Library to find Jocelyn & their friends. It was my 1st time in the Science Library! =D Anyway, I was practically slacking there with my laptop. Haha...
Yanzhu came when it was close to my CS3361 lecture time for me to write something. I took such a long time to write. He was supposed to meet Xinyi at Central Forum, so I accompanied him to meet the other Xinyi in Science canteen before taking shuttle bus back to Central Forum. I was like super late for my lecture, but I didn't care. Oops.
When we reached Central Forum, Xinyi was there already. I think Johnson was on his way to Central Library, so Xinyi dragged him to accompany her while waiting for Yanzhu. Johnson was DAMN BLOODY can! He was telling his story of how he woke up with his mouth & pillow full of blood. And we started all the nonsense about the bloody shit & disgusting stuff. When Wing came down from Central Library, Johnson repeated his story.
By the time we finished writing & chit-chatting, it was already 3pm. I walked over to SR1 to realize the last lecture had already ended. Haha! I told you I wasted my time in school! LoL!!! So in the end, I went home happily & nap before my mugging session.
Ohoh.. Anyway, the interview was rather funny yesterday. I shall not elaborate much about it, because I don't think I should do it openly, just in case. Haha... But it was really fun! =D
I think I wasted a lot of time in school today! Oops!
Jocelyn & I were supposed to be in school for CS2105 assignment evaluation. We were done in 10minutes! And we got full marks! I hope the tutor would not change his mind. Haha... Yanzhu told me afterwards that his friend didn't do well because he used localhost or something like that. o.O I was surprised because I asked the tutor if we can use localhost because my laptop was starting up when Jocelyn was already ready. And he was okay with it. So weird right...
Anyway, I went from Science to Engineer to find Xinyi & Jiawei for lunch! Jocelyn "abandoned" me because she had already eaten! Haha... I haven't seen Xinyi for the longest of time! Lol... Anyway! It's the 1st time I saw Chen Hua in school! PHD student-to-be lehz... Don't joke!
After lunch, I had time to spare since there wasn't CS2261 lecture anymore. So I went back to Science with them because Xinyi was going to have her lessons there. On the way there, we saw Esther! Science student in Science! Okay... I'm so lame. After that, Jiawei & I went to Science Library to find Jocelyn & their friends. It was my 1st time in the Science Library! =D Anyway, I was practically slacking there with my laptop. Haha...
Yanzhu came when it was close to my CS3361 lecture time for me to write something. I took such a long time to write. He was supposed to meet Xinyi at Central Forum, so I accompanied him to meet the other Xinyi in Science canteen before taking shuttle bus back to Central Forum. I was like super late for my lecture, but I didn't care. Oops.
When we reached Central Forum, Xinyi was there already. I think Johnson was on his way to Central Library, so Xinyi dragged him to accompany her while waiting for Yanzhu. Johnson was DAMN BLOODY can! He was telling his story of how he woke up with his mouth & pillow full of blood. And we started all the nonsense about the bloody shit & disgusting stuff. When Wing came down from Central Library, Johnson repeated his story.
By the time we finished writing & chit-chatting, it was already 3pm. I walked over to SR1 to realize the last lecture had already ended. Haha! I told you I wasted my time in school! LoL!!! So in the end, I went home happily & nap before my mugging session.
Ohoh.. Anyway, the interview was rather funny yesterday. I shall not elaborate much about it, because I don't think I should do it openly, just in case. Haha... But it was really fun! =D
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Give me courage
I have been a lot acting on my own recently.
I don't really like the feeling of being on my own & acting on my gut feeling. Even though everyone has appreciated my efforts in making the right decisions for them in the end, so far so good, I still have that jittery feeling that I did not perform what they should have expected. Afterall, these decisions are not supposed to be performed by me in the first place. I just feel that I am just going to screw something up because I have not seek for the advices that I should.
This is so contradicting!
I just don't understand why I am so worried, even though I have been doing a good job in whatever I'm helping out so far. I guessed it is because they are all major decisions. I know everyone trusts me enough to handle, but I guess I just don't trust myself.
Everyone give me the encouragement I can do BIG things. They trust me so much and they have the confidence to push me to go for them. But I do not have the confidence that I need to give myself. I seriously need it! Sometimes I know myself that I can do it, but I just want to make sure I do it well.
I need the courage to take the big step forward in order to overcome this mental barrier, seriously..
I don't really like the feeling of being on my own & acting on my gut feeling. Even though everyone has appreciated my efforts in making the right decisions for them in the end, so far so good, I still have that jittery feeling that I did not perform what they should have expected. Afterall, these decisions are not supposed to be performed by me in the first place. I just feel that I am just going to screw something up because I have not seek for the advices that I should.
This is so contradicting!
I just don't understand why I am so worried, even though I have been doing a good job in whatever I'm helping out so far. I guessed it is because they are all major decisions. I know everyone trusts me enough to handle, but I guess I just don't trust myself.
Everyone give me the encouragement I can do BIG things. They trust me so much and they have the confidence to push me to go for them. But I do not have the confidence that I need to give myself. I seriously need it! Sometimes I know myself that I can do it, but I just want to make sure I do it well.
I need the courage to take the big step forward in order to overcome this mental barrier, seriously..
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Finally!
The mass ticket purchase is finalized & done with!
Next! It would be collecting the ticket from my bestie! Thanks so much for her help over at NTU side. Then I'll be doing my part over at NUS side.. =D
Seriously, for $10 a year, some people just think we owe them our life. And why do some have to comment so much about not being able to go? I'm not saying this senselessly just because I'm above 18 years old. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I can go because of all my commitments. In the first place, do you people understand what is the cause/event is for? It's not his event, FYI. It's for a cause!
Sorry, but I don't really like it when people blindly go for it just for the sake of him without thinking what the purpose is, especially when this is for a good cause. It just shows how much responsibility one has for the society. Maybe I feel more strongly for this particular event because I really hate the fact that people just complain why they can't go see him & do not know what the event is for.
It is the same as how I hate people who does community service for the sake of CCA points. You don't do it with your heart, but you do it with something for return. It is really different doing community service in secondary school & university. In secondary school, many of us do it for the fulfillment of the number of community hours we have to complete each year. Now, if you ask me how many CCA points I have accumulated so far after being in CSC for a year or so, I can tell you, I don't know. This is what many fellow CSC members would probably tell you as well. Maybe I have none at all. Maybe nobody bothers to help me update my CCA records. But seriously, who cares? I do it because I love it.
The mass ticket purchase is finalized & done with!
Next! It would be collecting the ticket from my bestie! Thanks so much for her help over at NTU side. Then I'll be doing my part over at NUS side.. =D
Seriously, for $10 a year, some people just think we owe them our life. And why do some have to comment so much about not being able to go? I'm not saying this senselessly just because I'm above 18 years old. To be honest, I'm not even sure if I can go because of all my commitments. In the first place, do you people understand what is the cause/event is for? It's not his event, FYI. It's for a cause!
Sorry, but I don't really like it when people blindly go for it just for the sake of him without thinking what the purpose is, especially when this is for a good cause. It just shows how much responsibility one has for the society. Maybe I feel more strongly for this particular event because I really hate the fact that people just complain why they can't go see him & do not know what the event is for.
It is the same as how I hate people who does community service for the sake of CCA points. You don't do it with your heart, but you do it with something for return. It is really different doing community service in secondary school & university. In secondary school, many of us do it for the fulfillment of the number of community hours we have to complete each year. Now, if you ask me how many CCA points I have accumulated so far after being in CSC for a year or so, I can tell you, I don't know. This is what many fellow CSC members would probably tell you as well. Maybe I have none at all. Maybe nobody bothers to help me update my CCA records. But seriously, who cares? I do it because I love it.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I'm currently blogging in Anna's office right now.
Actually, I am supposed to be working as usual. But I finished calling my leads & Jack is not around. Therefore, I got no new leads to call. So here I am, slacking in Anna's office while waiting for her to go for dinner later. Haha...
I've been feeling so sleepy the whole day! I slept in both CS2105 & CS2106 lectures. Only woke up at unimportant timings to pay attention. Lol...
Here I am, leeching on Anna's office wireless... I hope my laptop will last me long enough! To think that I don't feel the need to bring my charger today, even though I brought it along every Tuesday. Tsk tsk tsk...
I shall go slack and play my facebook games! =D
Actually, I am supposed to be working as usual. But I finished calling my leads & Jack is not around. Therefore, I got no new leads to call. So here I am, slacking in Anna's office while waiting for her to go for dinner later. Haha...
I've been feeling so sleepy the whole day! I slept in both CS2105 & CS2106 lectures. Only woke up at unimportant timings to pay attention. Lol...
Here I am, leeching on Anna's office wireless... I hope my laptop will last me long enough! To think that I don't feel the need to bring my charger today, even though I brought it along every Tuesday. Tsk tsk tsk...
I shall go slack and play my facebook games! =D
Monday, November 09, 2009
New blog song! New love! So cute! =D
I have this love-hate relationship about JJ & Rynn.
They always like to come back for official public events around the same period of time. Or rather, sometimes together. As much as I wish for them to perform on the same stage more often, but there is only 1 zx. I’m already openly known for being in both FCs.
Just like how people may not know me, but know that there exists this girl who dresses herself in purple like crazy in school almost every single day.
It is the same as, people may not know me, but know that there exists this girl who jumps around excitedly and chattered real loudly in between these 2 FCs. And it is damn obvious whenever JJ & Rynn have events around the same time.
I think they’re doing it again. JJ will be back for GYSB event, and Rynn will be coming back 10 days later. I can’t imagine if JJ has other events in conjunction with this already announced event. I would be happy if he just releases his album in December and come back in January! =D
OKAY! WHATEVER! Haha….
New blog song! New love! So cute! =D
They always like to come back for official public events around the same period of time. Or rather, sometimes together. As much as I wish for them to perform on the same stage more often, but there is only 1 zx. I’m already openly known for being in both FCs.
Just like how people may not know me, but know that there exists this girl who dresses herself in purple like crazy in school almost every single day.
It is the same as, people may not know me, but know that there exists this girl who jumps around excitedly and chattered real loudly in between these 2 FCs. And it is damn obvious whenever JJ & Rynn have events around the same time.
I think they’re doing it again. JJ will be back for GYSB event, and Rynn will be coming back 10 days later. I can’t imagine if JJ has other events in conjunction with this already announced event. I would be happy if he just releases his album in December and come back in January! =D
OKAY! WHATEVER! Haha….
New blog song! New love! So cute! =D
JJ in my Project YO!
Now I know how much I've procastinated on my GEM project.
Even JJ is "reminding" me to get to doing it.
What a joke!
But then, I'm kind of serious! =D
I would have known about this event of JJ early if I have started on my project early, you see...
Okay, I'm just being nonsense. It is just coincident that I'm assigned to write up on "Corporate Social Responsibility" for my GEM project, and this "GYSB" campaign is actually part of what I am supposed to research on. So cool eh! I can actually include JJ in my project without having to crack my brains! Haha...
I thought I'll hate researching on Tiger because it is not really a topic of my interest. Now there is a reason for me to love it. Haha...
Even JJ is "reminding" me to get to doing it.
What a joke!
But then, I'm kind of serious! =D
I would have known about this event of JJ early if I have started on my project early, you see...
Okay, I'm just being nonsense. It is just coincident that I'm assigned to write up on "Corporate Social Responsibility" for my GEM project, and this "GYSB" campaign is actually part of what I am supposed to research on. So cool eh! I can actually include JJ in my project without having to crack my brains! Haha...
I thought I'll hate researching on Tiger because it is not really a topic of my interest. Now there is a reason for me to love it. Haha...
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Seriously, it has never dawned on me that it is her fault. Because it isn’t at all.
I don’t understand why people think it’s unfair to me. I really don’t think so at all. And just because I said all those things, it doesn’t mean I’m blaming her. Maybe people interpret me wrongly. I’m just stating my considerations, and nothing more than that. In fact, there isn’t any issues with who should be the one doing what & who should not, but they’re just some thoughts that we have to take note of.
I don’t see why it is unfair to me. Some people think I should not be the one giving up on everything because of her. Then again, why should she be the one giving up everything because of me? And there is no reason she has to ask for my opinions on everything she is going to do that is going to affect me. It is her freedom afterall. And whatever that is going to affect me, it is up to me to decide how everything is going to be settled later on. I do have a choice afterall. It really doesn’t mean it is her fault just because she has to be inside some portions of my considerations. I really think it is very unfair to her.
To be frank, she is someone who gains my respect for her. Not just a wonderful friend/partner, but a great supporter as well. I'm truly glad that it is her, and not someone else. People will most probably not understand how I feel towards this kind of thing. I don't think I will be disappointed with how things are going to turn out to be. I guess the sense of belonging is clinging on very well. =D
On the other hand, what I am really disappointed about, are some other things that I don't really touch on anymore. I guess I either rarely talk to some people, or totally don't talk to them anymore. What are friends to everyone anyway? If one day I stopped chasing/loving the same idol as you anymore, does it mean I am no longer your friend? This is a very cruel fact that some people have been showing me. Just because I seem to be less involved in chasing my favourite idols. Just because I stop talking about them anymore. Just because if there is no idol talk, there is nothing we can talk about already.
Everyone has to realize, "I'll support my favourite idol FOREVER." will become a lie some day. If you don't believe me, then you'll be lying to yourself. If you still don't believe me, we can see what will happen 30, 40, 50 years from now. You'll have to believe me one day. I'm confident about this.
Okay, I'm just sidetracking to rant because I just find it a pity a few people don't realize what went wrong in our friendship, and why I stopped salvaging them, and they didn't stop to treasure it as well.
Anyway, I hope I can go KTV with ZARA LB this coming Saturday! No promises! But I really want to meet up with them!
I don’t understand why people think it’s unfair to me. I really don’t think so at all. And just because I said all those things, it doesn’t mean I’m blaming her. Maybe people interpret me wrongly. I’m just stating my considerations, and nothing more than that. In fact, there isn’t any issues with who should be the one doing what & who should not, but they’re just some thoughts that we have to take note of.
I don’t see why it is unfair to me. Some people think I should not be the one giving up on everything because of her. Then again, why should she be the one giving up everything because of me? And there is no reason she has to ask for my opinions on everything she is going to do that is going to affect me. It is her freedom afterall. And whatever that is going to affect me, it is up to me to decide how everything is going to be settled later on. I do have a choice afterall. It really doesn’t mean it is her fault just because she has to be inside some portions of my considerations. I really think it is very unfair to her.
To be frank, she is someone who gains my respect for her. Not just a wonderful friend/partner, but a great supporter as well. I'm truly glad that it is her, and not someone else. People will most probably not understand how I feel towards this kind of thing. I don't think I will be disappointed with how things are going to turn out to be. I guess the sense of belonging is clinging on very well. =D
On the other hand, what I am really disappointed about, are some other things that I don't really touch on anymore. I guess I either rarely talk to some people, or totally don't talk to them anymore. What are friends to everyone anyway? If one day I stopped chasing/loving the same idol as you anymore, does it mean I am no longer your friend? This is a very cruel fact that some people have been showing me. Just because I seem to be less involved in chasing my favourite idols. Just because I stop talking about them anymore. Just because if there is no idol talk, there is nothing we can talk about already.
Everyone has to realize, "I'll support my favourite idol FOREVER." will become a lie some day. If you don't believe me, then you'll be lying to yourself. If you still don't believe me, we can see what will happen 30, 40, 50 years from now. You'll have to believe me one day. I'm confident about this.
Okay, I'm just sidetracking to rant because I just find it a pity a few people don't realize what went wrong in our friendship, and why I stopped salvaging them, and they didn't stop to treasure it as well.
Anyway, I hope I can go KTV with ZARA LB this coming Saturday! No promises! But I really want to meet up with them!
Last Visit of the Semester + Mixed Feeling
Most of the major assignments/projects are finally over.
I wasn’t in an exact good mood to handle everything, which caused my temper to be kind of bad at times. To think back, I feel bad for venting my anger unreasonably over some people in the past week. I’m so sorry... =(
Oh well… Now, I’m left with 1 group project cum presentation, which I’m supposed to get it done yesterday. Craps! I shall do it later in the evening. Oops! Then there’ll be this 10-page final paper for CS3361 that is due on next Tuesday. Hooray! It’s still a long way, so I still have time to think my way through instead of rushing like mad! But I shall set a target for myself to finish it by Friday if possible. I need time to mug for my final exams too. It’s really time to start!
Yesterday was the last visit of T.H.E. Seniors for the semester. It was really fun as usual. I still feel that it was a pity that I couldn’t attend MAF. I was so looking forward to it so much! I guess being so much involved as compared to last year really makes me feel good & want to do more for T.H.E. Seniors more than anything. Even though I seem to always make blunders out of tiny details, everyone else is able to accommodate me with my little mistakes, which makes me feel comfortable being there. Now I feel so sad because I won’t be able to go for visitation until late December! The next official visit is on the day I had a 1-day course, and if there is an unofficial visit the week before, it’ll be falling on my last day of exam. =(
Anyway, I’ve finally made up my decision to go ahead with it. That was what I thought so initially. Apparently, if I know that he is also thinking in the same hesitation as me earlier, I think I would never choose to do it. He is really the person whom I should listen to because of who he is. Some reasons are just unexplainable until you’ve been through them yourself.
Oh well… I guess it’s already done. So I should really go for it now. But I guess there is more to it. Another thing I have to consider. I really appreciate it, but I’m not really confident if I’m up to it.
So… interview is on Thursday. Somehow, I can say that I’m already well-prepared for it. Thanks to the previous interview which makes me crack my brain over it. Thus, I think whatever I need to prepare should be more or less done in the previous interview. I didn’t realize the amazing things that I’ve done in the previous interview & what it has done to me as well! I still think it’s damn weird! Haha…
I wasn’t in an exact good mood to handle everything, which caused my temper to be kind of bad at times. To think back, I feel bad for venting my anger unreasonably over some people in the past week. I’m so sorry... =(
Oh well… Now, I’m left with 1 group project cum presentation, which I’m supposed to get it done yesterday. Craps! I shall do it later in the evening. Oops! Then there’ll be this 10-page final paper for CS3361 that is due on next Tuesday. Hooray! It’s still a long way, so I still have time to think my way through instead of rushing like mad! But I shall set a target for myself to finish it by Friday if possible. I need time to mug for my final exams too. It’s really time to start!
Yesterday was the last visit of T.H.E. Seniors for the semester. It was really fun as usual. I still feel that it was a pity that I couldn’t attend MAF. I was so looking forward to it so much! I guess being so much involved as compared to last year really makes me feel good & want to do more for T.H.E. Seniors more than anything. Even though I seem to always make blunders out of tiny details, everyone else is able to accommodate me with my little mistakes, which makes me feel comfortable being there. Now I feel so sad because I won’t be able to go for visitation until late December! The next official visit is on the day I had a 1-day course, and if there is an unofficial visit the week before, it’ll be falling on my last day of exam. =(
Anyway, I’ve finally made up my decision to go ahead with it. That was what I thought so initially. Apparently, if I know that he is also thinking in the same hesitation as me earlier, I think I would never choose to do it. He is really the person whom I should listen to because of who he is. Some reasons are just unexplainable until you’ve been through them yourself.
Oh well… I guess it’s already done. So I should really go for it now. But I guess there is more to it. Another thing I have to consider. I really appreciate it, but I’m not really confident if I’m up to it.
So… interview is on Thursday. Somehow, I can say that I’m already well-prepared for it. Thanks to the previous interview which makes me crack my brain over it. Thus, I think whatever I need to prepare should be more or less done in the previous interview. I didn’t realize the amazing things that I’ve done in the previous interview & what it has done to me as well! I still think it’s damn weird! Haha…
Monday, November 02, 2009
I'm really stunned...
Really stunned...
Stunned...
I wasn't disappointed at the result at all because I've expected it for me that way. I was totally prepared. Or perhaps, I realized it was a wrong decision of trying to start out so huge. I guessed I was hoping much about not getting it after all, and start out properly as a small fry instead. And I was all excited to decide what I want to do after the result was out. I have 2 choices in mind already..
But then...
The result was really a big stunning news for me.
Stunned...
How do I describe it? The result is the first thing that I've always been considering and really hope for it not to happen. Actually, there is nothing wrong with the result at all. In fact, it was an excellent result, and I'm really happy to see it. But in some sense, under certain circumstances, under certain considerations, what I worry most is actually happening in the most happening way.
Maybe I worry too much. Is there really those things to worry about? But I like to foresee things in advance. From what I see now from another situation, I'm experiencing it right now. I don't mind to do it at all. It is exactly from this experience, which is what I'm afraid of picking my choices right now. If I abandon my choices, things may probably just continue the same way as this current experience, and I have totally no complaints about doing it at all. I'm just worried, if I really go for 1 of my choices, who will be there for us? I just think that someone has to be there for us. I can't let others do it, because it is part of my responsibilities to do it.
Those people who know are encouraging me to go for what I plan for. I really wonder if I should. They know it's something I really want to do. But I want to think for the whole picture. It's not a need, it's a want. Now I'm so confused...
Really stunned...
Stunned...
I wasn't disappointed at the result at all because I've expected it for me that way. I was totally prepared. Or perhaps, I realized it was a wrong decision of trying to start out so huge. I guessed I was hoping much about not getting it after all, and start out properly as a small fry instead. And I was all excited to decide what I want to do after the result was out. I have 2 choices in mind already..
But then...
The result was really a big stunning news for me.
Stunned...
How do I describe it? The result is the first thing that I've always been considering and really hope for it not to happen. Actually, there is nothing wrong with the result at all. In fact, it was an excellent result, and I'm really happy to see it. But in some sense, under certain circumstances, under certain considerations, what I worry most is actually happening in the most happening way.
Maybe I worry too much. Is there really those things to worry about? But I like to foresee things in advance. From what I see now from another situation, I'm experiencing it right now. I don't mind to do it at all. It is exactly from this experience, which is what I'm afraid of picking my choices right now. If I abandon my choices, things may probably just continue the same way as this current experience, and I have totally no complaints about doing it at all. I'm just worried, if I really go for 1 of my choices, who will be there for us? I just think that someone has to be there for us. I can't let others do it, because it is part of my responsibilities to do it.
Those people who know are encouraging me to go for what I plan for. I really wonder if I should. They know it's something I really want to do. But I want to think for the whole picture. It's not a need, it's a want. Now I'm so confused...
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