Despite being sad about my laptop being away from me, I guessed he really made my day. At least for those moments. I guessed a lot of things have been understooded without being spoken. So much for being there, I think many just didn't manage to understand how I felt or didn't have the courage to ask what I am going through. He remembered every single details.
I've sent my beloved laptop to IT Co-Op for repairs. It was earlier than expected. I intended to send it for repair during mid-term break. Now it messes up everything because there are so much stuff to do before the break. I hate this! Argh...
I hope it comes back to me soon. My brother is so nice to let me use his desktop, but I still don't like to use other computers except my own laptop. I hate so much to walk into any random school lab just to print my notes and do my labs. It means I have to stay in school much longer & not knowing which labs are available at which time.
I guessed I haven't been easy to get along with recently. Of everything I made myself to be. I just think I don't wish to be close. I didn't even want to get close to knowing many things. Everything just happened for a reason. There's a reason I don't do certain things anymore. Sometimes you seriously need to ask, who are your friends? There are certain people, whenever they come talk to me on msn out of the blue, I already know it isn't for me. I seriously don't understand. Is it that difficult to even say a "Hi!" out of the blue? Okay, I don't really care. But at the same time, I'm not anyone's saviour. I hate people looking for me only when they needed my help. It's just happening all the time. Why is it that I can talk to some people so nicely, yet being unfriendly to others? That's the very reason. You know I hate initiating all the time. After some time, you just get so tired of doing it.
Is it me? Or is it most SOC students cannot live without a laptop? I'm so used to hugging my laptop to school, no matter how heavy my bag is.
Well... A few good things to think about for the period that my laptop is going to be away... At least I won't be distracted during lectures.. And during this point of time, I guess all I can do is mug away with my books more often.. I do hope I don't sleep my time away though.
When I said I wanted to give up 1 of my commitments, I wasn't kidding about it. We all know which one I want to give up. I am quite firm about it. I guessed the real reason behind it isn't really being understood. Because I left it unspoken. All I want to do now is to make everything right this time. Leaving isn't a question anymore. It is an answer. I know I can handle & be committed to both, but I just don't wish to. I don't really push anymore. I'm sure that's not what you wish to see of me, but I guess this is how it is now. I'm sorry that I made all the way to get back what I want with all the troubles. In the end, I realized I didn't really want it anymore. Things are just not the same anymore. Nobody can ever promise the future that I want to me. Not even myself. I guess I'm just an insensitive sensitive brat afterall. So much for believing.
And as I predicted, that guy really did drop me a sms just now. He wanted to extend his friendship with me, giving the sincerity that he wanted to know someone with such a nice voice like me. Of course, I rejected him, giving the reason, I'm not allowed to make personal contact without Jack's permission. Jack's name is such a great excuse to use under these circumstances! Oops! I mean, that is what is supposed to be since I'm working for him! Haha...
Anyway, I guess he won't bother me further given his reply. I think he's just disappointed after my last sms. But I seriously think he'll regret if he really get to know me. I'm not as sweet as he thought I will be. Haha... I have to admit I really use a different cheerful tone from normal to talk to those people on the phone. I have to, I guess. I know I do have a nice voice! But I feel so much that it's not me somehow.
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