I waited for her while she packed her things. When she was supposed to end earlier than me! Haha... We decided for very long & decided to go Far East Plaza in the end. During dinner, we talked about a lot of things that she was dying to know for the past few months. Okay, I kept my promise to say once everything was over that time, and I did! I guessed a lot of things didn't ended in the way I expected to be. Or it did, in the worse way, that I predicted differently way before. I know how I am myself, so somehow, it ended in the other way afterall.
Anyway, we went shopping & crapping after dinner! Anna was looking for hoodie, but couldn't find them anywhere. Haha! When she walked me to the bus-stop in front of Lucky Plaza, we saw a little girl wearing a hoodie! So funny! A few distance away, we saw another girl wearing! Haha... But still, Anna still couldn't find any hoodie around..
Today... I actually travelled the whole journey to school just to run some errands. I was supposed to make payment for my course in the Undergraduate Office. So I 顺便 brought my laptop to school to print notes. In all, I spent only like half hour in school? When I spent like 3 hours travelling. Oh gosh... On my way home, I went to collect my loots that I didn't manage to collect yesterday. I like all of them! Though I would prefer 1 of them to be the green shirt I wanted initially. And I have a purple polo tee now! So happy! I think my wardrobe only has white, black, and purple mostly.. Haha...
I talked to Anna a lot, a lot recently. When I feel troubled, I tend to talk to 1 single person a lot, a lot. Even though I think Anna doesn't even know that. Thank goodness we're both as nonsense as we can be.
To be honest... How I feel now is not really caused by just 1 person. Many things just happened... over time. I guess there's 1 particular person who knows a lot, a lot. I've been saying a lot about how I feel before I really let it all out now. Even though I talked to Alicia & Anna, I didn't tell them exactly everything.
I won't say it's anyone's fault. If there is, it would be me. I'm not angry with anyone. I'm just upset & disappointed about how things has become to be. It isn't the same. Some things last, some things just changed. The changes may not be obvious to others, but they greatly affect me. And if they do not affect me, it means they are not important to me at all.
I don't wish to quarrel with anyone. That is why I choose to remain silent & not talk about anything. I know how I don't like the things that I see as they are, but I know that is how others live their life as well. I can't force anyone to change just because I don't like it. The only thing I can do is, I choose to leave it. But I know by making that choice, I make everyone unhappy. I wish I can make it better in some ways. But just like how I should not force others to change their way of life, I don't think I can change how I feel too.
It's hard to choose in life. While I get close to 1 group, I neglected the other group. I always try to tell myself sacrifice for some is necessary & no choice because I indeed do not have more time than I could have to keep everyone company no matter how much I wish to. So I try to convince myself that sacrifice must be worthwhile & I'll never regret them. Sometimes I really hate myself for that. Is it me who always make the wrong choice? The groups that I always choose to neglect always end up being the groups that gives me all the support I can have & never ever leave me behind no matter how badly I treated them. Acacia is like that. ZARA LB is also like that. I want to cherish them in every way I could by making way through all the times I can find for them, even if it means giving up others. Until now, I still haven't manage to make it possible for ZARA LB.
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