Am I tired of everything?

I have this sudden feeling of tiredness. Just want to throw everything aside and… do something I really want to do.

I don’t know why I have this feeling suddenly. Pretty mixed up yah?? Perhaps it is because I spent my weekend at home this week. It has been a long time that I have last went out with friends. Yes, I have been going out with friends, but mostly for a purpose. I guess what I want is to get out there to chill with friends, not conveniently going out with them because I need to do something first.

I know I want to do a lot of commitments that I had/have on my own accord. I want to accomplish many things that I haven’t dare to do so previously. It is a sense of pride. In fact, I do enjoy these commitments as much as I can. But I asked myself, did I just do too much that I can take?

To compensate for time loss in committing in what I have on hand, I have self-discipline of not going out on weekends whenever I can to make up for my studies. I need to have a rest after a whole week as well. But then, I feel lost.

I want to get out of the house with friends whom I really miss. Where are all the jokes and laughter I used to hear? You know… When I thought of this, the first person that comes to my mind is Alicia. Yes… Alicia… She laughs super loudly in public and sometimes it is so embarrassing. But yes, I missed her laughter seriously. I missed how lame we can get, how idiot we are, etc.

 

How I wish I can throw this feeling away. I want to be strong & cope with everything I have.