人群中哭着你只想变成透明的颜色
你再也不会梦或痛或心动了
你已经决定了你已经决定了
Until now, I never did get myself to finish reading that email. I know I should. Coz the length of it tells me how much things I am going to know. However, I really cannot bring myself to finish reading it without everything flashing in my mind at the same time. No matter it is good or bad for me, I know my tears will flow with it. I guess it is just not the right time, no matter who the email came from. As long as they hit on me on the same topic. I'm really so sorry.


你静静忍着紧紧把昨天在拳心握着
而回忆越是甜就是越伤人了
越是在手心留下
密密麻麻深深浅浅的刀割
I guess sometimes we just have to learn our lesson in the toughest way. Maybe not just once. But more than once to realize it is really wrong. However, sometimes when we finally learn our lesson, it is too late. The damage is already done. Not once, but twice. I guess most people care, but nobody noticed hard enough to realize it'll be repeating. Therefore, nobody held out her hand quick enough to prevent it from happening all over again. Even when it happened again, nobody took a hint at it. All they can interpret it as, is that my temperment and behaviour changed. Not until I have to open up my wound to show them before they can realize it actually hurts that much.

这世界笑了於是你合群的一起笑了
当生存是规则不是你的选择
於是你含着眼泪
飘飘荡荡跌跌撞撞的走着
Nevertheless, I am very glad to have Ivalyn & Celeste around. Even though they are the people who can only do that much and only see things happen with me, they are the ones who make me feel slightly better. I know they care a lot, and they want to share every single burden of mine with me. They know when to talk & when to shut up. It's me who feel guilty towards them. I do not see the reason why they have to tolerate with my terrible mood and face everything with me. I destroyed their excitement & hope. But. Not once did they complain about anything. Instead, they are so supportive of me no matter what is going to happen & what is not going to happen anymore. Even if my decision is going to be wrong. Even if I'm going to give up on everything. As long as I feel better. I'm very thankful for everything they did for me.