Happy 5th Birthday to kib0sh-t0tz! =D

1 year ago, I got addicted to 败犬女王 way before everyone does now.
2 years ago, I graduated from SP & enrolled into where I am now.
3 years ago, I faced with problems which I don't even remember now.
4 years ago, I was complaining so much for who-knows-what reasons.
5 years ago, I started out this blog.

5 years of memories kept in here! Can you imagine that? I didn't realize my "determination" can last for so long, seriously. Ups and downs, tears and laughter. Looking back is always a bittersweet thing to do. =D

EXAMS ARE OVER! =D

Exam is finally over! Yay!

And I'm so smart I didn't know the last paper was closed book, and I studied for open-book. But oh well... It's over!

And so, I went for an impromptu outing with May, Angela and 1 of our mutual friends, Peilin. May and I went from school after her work and my exam. Angela & Peilin met us at Dhoby Ghaut's Just Acia for lunch cum dinner. They were super late! Haha... And we had a great chat over the meal. The chat was quite... thought-provoking I guess? I think I'll write this part in my LJ because it's quite private. May was so shocked to hear some of the things Angela and I said, and she said she will disown me as a friend if I ever do all those things! Hahaha!!!

After the meal, Peilin had to go off, and the 3 of us decided to walk to Somerset Cineleisure to drop by the new SMG store to take a look. We spent like only 10 minutes in the store. And I bought a purple star earphones on the way out. Wahaha...

The most amazing thing is, we only spent 10 minutes in SMG store. Yet we spent around 1 hour outside Cineleisure's open area! The reason being is, there was this SF4 Championship going on. It was really exciting and interesting seeing people compete against one another! The matches were really engaging because the opponents are really professional! You can hear people clapping at times because the results were so close, especially during the finals! The champion got to compete against Japan, Korea and Taiwan in Korea, so his trip is sponsored! Cool right..

What a pity it is for the 1st runner-up! He was really good, and good looking too! Haha...

Confused

I don't know if I'm disappointed. To be more specific, I am disappointed, but I don't know if I deserved to be disappointed. I have been feeling so alone recently. I want it to be better, but I can't do this alone.

And when I heard that comment the other day, I felt defensive. To hear that from someone who used to be in a similar position as me, it really sucks. You left without notice, now you come back and start picking on us. Who are you to criticize us?

You said that things were the best during her time. By judging solely with that component, how can you define it that way? I admit her time was the best too, I can't deny that. But time has changed. People has changed too. Even technology changed. It's true that component you commented about is dying. But it is being replaced by so many other components. And she was the one who indirectly lets everything went out of control. She had her bad judgements too. Nobody gives me the credits of building everything all over again from scratch, literally. I changed the generation. I changed the Factor 'X'.

Even though a few people defended me by saying we got an award during my generation, I have to admit it is not all because of my effort. I have to say, the award came coincidentally when I was taking charge, it wasn't solely my credit for those things I have done. It could have came previously when my generation was just about to begin, but someone else was just more suitable than us at that point of time. So now it is our turn. But then again, if I have let it deterioriate for all I care, I don't think we even deserve that right now. In short, I was the one who maintained our image to convince people we still deserve it.

On a side note, it totally sounds wrong to be happy. I had missed that someone previously. Now tt someone is back to talk to me, which cause me to be happy. Does it sound wrong to be missing that someone that I most probably should not be missing? It's confusing. I know it is somehow wrong, but I can't control myself.

Projects are tiring

I guess it's kind of a relief after finishing these 2 papers (partially for 1).

After procrastinating so much in the weekend, I've finally completed that darn tutorial assignment within 6 hours without knowing what I wrote anyway. And I finished the other paper, which is part of a group report, in 2 hours. That one was easier because we already have information on the topic. There is discussion meeting tomorrow morning though. Sigh...

I wish this semester will be over soon. Though I may not be looking forward to next semester as well. Everyone says it would be a hell semester since I'm going to take that 8 MC project module. I don't if I should be happy or not, because I'll be working with my eyecandy! But that's another thing right.. Projects are always horrible, even though exams are worse.

Please let me pass this week peacefully since most of the projects are due with 1 project report due next Monday. 1 word - Tired..

At times like this...

Okay, my blog is truly dead..

Have been so busy with project deadlines, tests & quizzes, and many many more school-related stuff. Exams are coming, but I totally feel so unprepared! =( Therefore, I haven't had the time to blog about many things, including our E-awards performance on 13 March 2010, JJ events on 28 March 2010, and THES major outing.

I know it won't take much time to blog to many people, but I just take a lot of time to blog. Haha... Even though I have been procrastinating and wasting time here and there which I could take to blog, but I just feel that free time is not for something like blogging at this point of time. Contradiction! Boo...

Come to think of it! I should change my main blog to JJFC (SG) OMY blog! I "blog" there more than I blog here now. Muahaha... Oh well... I can't help it when it is my commitment! Argh...

ANYWAYS! I bought 言承旭's 9314 Pictorial book last night! So happy yet so broke! I was hesitant about buying as I'm so afraid it would be an impulse buy when I get all addicted to Jerry Yan in after watching 就想赖着你 once again after that long-ago 流星花园.. I have to admit he's still as charming as before! However, to be honest, I'm more attracted to the book about his life story instead of his 写真书... I didn't regret buying after all, because the quotes in the book are inspiring and fabulous. =D

Okay, I shall stop procrastinating and get back to reading my darn ERP readings! (Anyway, stop asking me why I study ERP in Computing. It's not Electronic Road Pricing, it's Enterprise Resource Planning, an information system) I need to finish the darn 4% time-consuming tutorial assignment & my part of IT outsourcing project by tonight! =((

Smiles

I love JJ's blog post dated 22 Feb, 2010!
http://hypebeast.com/blog/jj/2010/02/smiles/

"It doesn’t take alot to smile, but sometimes in life, things happen and our smiles get stolen from us.
We frown, we tear, even weep… but just find it hard to smile again.

I’m glad I made this trip down to Pingdong, Taiwan just to be with the students from Qingye Primary.
Singing with them, dancing among the kids, sharing
life and struggles, encouraging and being encouraged back…
These simple acts, and carefree moments, they slowed down the pace of life, made me reflect, and helped me grow…

Some of these kids had family taken from them, homes destroyed around them due to the 88 Taiwan flood in 2009.

Seeing them smile again… all my life struggles, the stress, the good and the not so good, suddenly fades away, all the hard work becomes worthwhile…"

To give, it is a very simple thing. To give from the bottom of your heart, it really depends on individuals.

Creating smiles is the reason that I set my mind to join CSC initially and continue to stay on. =D

JJ's post really brings a smile to my face because that is what I always look forward to when I go to THES. =D

It's March already..

I wonder how I am going to keep up with all my anticipated commitments in March. I think it's a month that I both look forward to and dread of it. Deadlines, normal visits, major outing preparations, rehearsals, performance, events, etc, etc...

While waiting for the results, I'm going to dread knowing it. I don't know if I'm looking forward to it because it's a project that I really want to do. Yet I don't know if I regret applying for it, because I'm not sure if I can fully commit to it with all my existing responsibilities. Haiz... What have I gotten myself into, seriously??

Hortpark Recee!

We went Hortpark to recee the venue for major outing this morning! I actually woke up so early to do this! I can't imagine myself doing this for THES 1 year ago seriously..

I think I need more exercise! Walking is tiring as you get old! But the scenery is damn chio in Hortpark and Henderson Waves. Even though I almost wanted to die walking uphill, but what you see up there is really nice! So I shall just post some photos! =D

Someone once said to me, be prepared to have no true friendship when you're up there. I didn't know how she felt at that point of time. Now I totally understand.

To be someone by choice or by chance, there is usually a price to pay. What I didn't know is, I have to pay a high price for being someone who barely makes it there to be one. It may seem glamorous to be me, but it sure feels lonely. I feel like a stranger to those who used to be close to me. I can’t do anything about who I am, who people perceive me to be. But I have to say, I'm still who you used to know.

I miss the days of CSC Day props making. Despite all the small talks and minor arguments, it was a place where I truly found joy. I doubt I’ll find the same kind of feeling anywhere else real soon. Except THES.

I don’t want my fighting spirit anymore. I have no intention to compete for anything. It really sucks to be hurt in the process. All I want is to do something I love, and not fight for what seems to be superior to others.

How many really understand how I feel?

u know...

this blog is like so dead now...

haha...

I'll be back soon...