I went to school for GAW OC interview today. =D
No matter if my interview is going to be successful or not, I'm really glad that I went for it. Thanks Johnson & Tianju for giving me that chance even though I applied way after the deadline. I guessed I hesitated and thought a lot before I made that decision.
After everything that had happened all this while, I kind of got myself out of it. Finally. I really need to. I don't want to live my life in sorrow.
I hated myself for quite some time. Hate why things turn out like that. Hate why I make everyone unhappy just because I'm unhappy. Hate why I created so many troubles that I should not have.
I'm tired of hating everything. So I gave up for what I think is right. In fact, I just don't know how to continue fighting without poking deeper, into further small details that might upset everyone. I think I can. But I don't wish to anymore. What is the point? What do I get in the end? I just continue to get hurt deeper, and hurting everyone in the process digging into the truths that I think I'm not even supposed to know.
Maybe they don't remember what they've said before. Maybe they're just passing remarks to them. But some words, I'll never forget. To what may not be important to them, I may have taken them seriously. That is why I remembered, and they don't. Only verbal conversations that are not recorded do not leave tracks behind.
I have to admit I was very affected ever since Day 1 of camp trials. Even though I was physically there, my mind was not there half of the time. When everything started falling apart, camp trials became more of a burden to me. It should not have been this way. I totally feel bad about it. I totally forgot why I joined e6 in the first place. I needed to have that passion back before the actual camp.
I feel so much happier that I finally leave everything aside and get myself back on track. It was a pity that the first camp trial that I actually enjoyed had to be the last camp trial. Even though I was sabo-ed to get very dirty in the end, I didn't care so much, because I loved it. Then I started resuming all the responsibilities that I should have as a KC. For the first time, I actually enjoyed doing it and feel proud that I can get myself to get everything done properly.
I love my Charis people. They're really cooperative and supportive in getting everything done to their best efforts. I'm really gladful for that because they've helped lighten Terence & my workload as KCs in their own means.
Lastly, thanks to those who tolerated my nonsense temper all this while. Thanks for not poking into my business even though you people are dying to know what has happened. Thanks for standing by me all this while.
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