I'm like abit confused rite now.. actu more of sad lo... some things juz dun happen e way I wish it would b..

I realized tt tis person has been avoiding me whenever I wanted to try to talk to tis person on msn... I've no idea wad's e reason to cause tis person to do so.. I dun understand.. you mean so much to me.. mayb u dunno.. not many ppl know tt, coz I only told few close friends.. some ppl knows.. some forget dey know.. I dunno wad to do.. I alr felt abit disappointed when sth changed to b different from wad I've been anticipating so long.. but now tt u avoid me, it makes me feel even more sad.. mayb if I've nv held so many things back, and I haven try to keep things e way it is, e situation might b different long ago.. I can only blame myself to be slow..

and for tis another person, I really dunno wad to do.. while wad I wanted from e person above, I've nv want it tt much from u.. I wanted to keep things e way it is, but yet I'm afraid things might screwed up like how I screwed up wif H years back.. I really dun wan history to repeat.. coz til now, I stil feel guilty towards H.. as much as tt, I juz wan our relationship to stay where like where M & D are now.. I feel comfortable maintaining M's & D's relationship like dey're rite now & tt nth has to change.. e more attention u give me, e more I feel like running away..

how can we make things to work e way we want it to be? I'm totally screwed..