I'm like abit confused rite now.. actu more of sad lo... some things juz dun happen e way I wish it would b..

I realized tt tis person has been avoiding me whenever I wanted to try to talk to tis person on msn... I've no idea wad's e reason to cause tis person to do so.. I dun understand.. you mean so much to me.. mayb u dunno.. not many ppl know tt, coz I only told few close friends.. some ppl knows.. some forget dey know.. I dunno wad to do.. I alr felt abit disappointed when sth changed to b different from wad I've been anticipating so long.. but now tt u avoid me, it makes me feel even more sad.. mayb if I've nv held so many things back, and I haven try to keep things e way it is, e situation might b different long ago.. I can only blame myself to be slow..

and for tis another person, I really dunno wad to do.. while wad I wanted from e person above, I've nv want it tt much from u.. I wanted to keep things e way it is, but yet I'm afraid things might screwed up like how I screwed up wif H years back.. I really dun wan history to repeat.. coz til now, I stil feel guilty towards H.. as much as tt, I juz wan our relationship to stay where like where M & D are now.. I feel comfortable maintaining M's & D's relationship like dey're rite now & tt nth has to change.. e more attention u give me, e more I feel like running away..

how can we make things to work e way we want it to be? I'm totally screwed..

1st thing 1st.. Happy Birthday amanda! lol...

went out wif shian today after sch.. waited for e bus outside sch for so long lo.. den we go SMU to settle my sis's registration fee 1st.. abit paiseh coz dey need pass to go certain lvl den we duno mah... after tt we take bus go bugis.. had lunch in sakae.. no hl so we share our food liao.. haha... actu wan watch movie de, but thr only got 3 shows lo.. =.= so we go shopping! hehe... BHG(formerly Seiyu) got a 3-day sale where regular items were 20% off, and sale items 15%.. I wanted to shop for tops de, but ended up buying a purple skirt.. haha.. super cheap after sales+discount lo.. den bought a mascara coz shian keep saying I shld buy.. lol...

after shopping @ bugis junction, we went across to bugis street.. went bugis cafe had cake+snack+float while taking a rest.. we veri enjoy hor... LOL... I nearly lost my ethical hacking textbook in e cafe la! but lucky e person keep it for me.. haha... after tt we go shopping again! me & shian each bought a denim shorts, but of diff design.. coz dun have my size la.. haha... we plan to wear it to sch tgt lo... muahaha.. reach home quite late after shopping la.. and super tired..

Dye Shoes

me, leen & meryl dyed our DIY shoes y'day! so fun lehz!

head to bras basah Art Friend thr after sch to buy fabric paint.. We saw 2 types, den wanted to buy e dye cotton de.. but we dunno how to use so had to ask e salesperson a few times.. me buy purple de while meryl & leen buy pink de.. aso had to buy a fix tt e salesperson say need to use wif e dye de.. deb we walked to bugis to buy our shoes.. $3.50 nia lehz!! abt e same price as e fabric dye.. haha.. leen bought her shoes at another shop for $3.70 coz dun have her size.. hohoho...

after tt we took a bus to meryl house to dye our shoes! meryl house super close to mrt station wor, so no need to walk veri far.. 1st thing we do: cut out the elastic strap.. got alot of mao mao so not easy to cut.. we wanted to start dyeing e shoes, but realize dunno how to weigh the salt needed to mix wif e fix.. so we went to a minimart buy lo.. we bought 2 packet 250g de.. juz nice no need really estimate coz we need 125g for each fix & dye.. I bought a snoopy tissue aso! super cute!

after going back to meryl house, we dye my shoes 1st.. purple!! heez... den while waiting for my shoes to dye, we teach leen how to play bridge.. hehe... after tt I washed my shoes, den dye leen & meryl shoes tgt.. so fun! both pink & purple turn out nicer than I expected.. by e time I go home jiu veri late le, so veri tired.. but e whole process was super fun la! haha...

*****************************

today had gems in e morning.. have to say my gems is interesting coz it's interactive.. we had a class discussion abt wad is ur impression of a prince/princess charming.. den had an interactive activity to show wad is holding us back from going into a relationship.. after tt our lecturer split us into 6 grps tt we're going to b in for e rest of e sem.. I'm in e same grp as our gems class rep wor.. tis class rep is definitely much much better than our own class rep.. I tink my class is fun la, coz everyone is veri active in participation.. and thr's tis guy from DBIT who's so funny la! and I tink he's got la bi xiao xin's eyebrows! LOL!

had normal lectures for all lessons today.. someone juz make e whole day unpleasant for us la.. and u know who u r.. when I say I dun wan say it now, it dun mean I dun wan to say it coz I juz say to make my stand stronger.. it's juz tt I dun feel e need to do so unless appropriate.. and tt's wad I've said in e 1st place.. dun u think u went overboard to go ask who's involved so openly? and I'm not e one who's beating ard e bush.. I've stated my stand & said everything tt I wanted to point out in e 1st place alr.. thr's no hidden meaning in it at all.. but u, tt someone, pls dun use other ppl's names to arrow things out & make out ur point.

and e most impt thing, since u alr decide wad u wan to do, it means anything I say is not going to change it.. so y bother telling me? r u trying to tell me, "hey, let's agree on tis."? pls la, thr's no agreement at all in e 1st place.. u can do wad u think it's rite for all u wan, and I'm going to stick to my ways.. and I wun bother at all.. but if anyone asks, I'll b frank to say I cant be bothered coz u're e one making all e decisions now & I've no say at all..

I dun care even if u read tis.. coz I'm not afraid abt anything u wanna say abt me..

2nd week of sch!

it's e start of 2nd week of sch.. hohoho... think I reach sch super early on mon sehz.. coz tt's e same time I leave home for work during e last 2 mths ba.. 1st lesson dmdw prac.. juz realize prac lesson is so short, only 1 hour.. den rite after prac is dmdw tut.. tut is joker la! realized e whole class only I printed out e lecture notes, so e lecture notes was rotated among e 10 of us when kenny seah asked questions.. lol.. kenny seah has sort of regarded khay as his top student coz we asked him how to get gpa 3.7 in khay's situation. haha!

had our break after dwdm la.. den qun dey all had to go sas, jerrl & khay went out of sch.. so left me, renee, and thien hoon sitting in fc6 so bo liao playing dai dee so early in e morning while looking after their bags.. and really, e whole time we were playing, e atmosphere is so dry & dead.. and more of bridge after we had our lunch.. yeah.. tt's our sch life.. haha... could've killed edmond if I haven been tt nice.. asking bo liao questions.. so childish!

mcom prac after lunch.. lousy coms in e lab la.. so many spoiled de stil nv fixed.. and my com shutdown itself coz 2 of e plugs "jumped" up.. and I really MEAN tt.. I swear I din kick it la.. my com juz shutdown & I tried stepping on e switches tt were on e floor & 2 of them were loose.. den so stupid wor.. after I rs e com, my visual studio cant open.. den have to change com lo..den when lesson end we asked ttj abt e ptn thing.. it turned out she's not our ptn afterall! it's kenny seah.. lol... ethical hacking is interesting la.. but den, it'll b TCP/IP thing again.. sianz wor.. I hated TCP/IP stacks theory & stuff.. and I stil hate it now..

me & my suay mouth!!! we planned to go make our shoes on tis wed.. me, eileen & meryl.. and kbox wif eileen next wed.. and I predicted scarly I got sth on myself insteand of eileen! den kenny seah at 1st called to tell me after sch to attend a sch ceremony tis wed.. den I was tinking die le.. tis wed I wan go make my shoes! den less than 10min later, kenny seah called back & told me it's postponed! and most prob postponed to dunno 2nd or 4th of may! both aso no gd la!!! wed I wan go kbox! fri I wan go home early!!! kenny seah stil ask me wear nicely.. =.= I dun wan go le la!! mayb I shall skip e ceremony.. =X anw, kenny seah will give me e cert after tt aso wad...

End of Week 1

end of week 1 of yearr3 wor.. wa.. like so fast wor.. week 1's over le... cant imagine juz last week we did all e farewell & bidding goodbyes to our ITP company.. hmm... wasn't paying much attention in lectures, except mayb mobile commerce.. haha... I got e feeling I'll love mobile commerce.. time to pay attention during lectures, coz shld get all e basics rite 1st b4 going "ya-ya" & flying.. til now I've no idea wad datamining is teaching at all.. haha... and I tot I wasn't paying attention, but there's more out thr.. haha...

oh yes, and I realize lkk & ttj have been looking at me in a strange way.. strange as in... different la.. how to say lehz.. whenever I look at lkk, his look tells me he've sth to ask me, but he juz din say anything.. and ttj, she juz waves & smiles at me at e wrong time, in e same creepy way some have seen b4.. and she juz dun say anything too! am I thinking too much? or.. did I do sth funny tt I dunno myself?? hmm...

wow.. cooped at home for e whole of y'day since prac was canceled for ethical hacking.. nobody could go out wif me la.. juz feel so sianz... I watched 8 episodes of bbt to pass my time lo... hehe... cant believe it.. is tis how I wasted my weekend??! how bored can I get rite..

yepyep.. and I've realized I juz love to dream & talk nonsense recently.. I guess ITP has kept my mouth so long I muz talk all I can rite now.. blah blah blah~~~

School!

it's e 2nd day of sch.. lessons ended early y'day & today coz it's juz e start of sch so many lesson haven really started.. somemore dey're stil renovating some labs lo.. well.. we asked & tan teck june is our ptn again.. hmm... actu, it dun really matter, coz she only got us for tut & prac, but justin is teaching us prac while she juz assist students who need help ba.. den our tut is once every 2 wk.. haha... I guess she wun have chance to b tt naggy like last time aso.. and I'm e a. class rep now thanks to kelvin who came late tis morning.. haha... now it's my time to "retire" & get free cca points.. lol...

anw, I dun really like e class arrangement rite now.. it's like we have all 3 classes squeezing in 1 classroom to have mass lecture.. den we have to buddy wif 1 class to have during a prac lesson & buddy wif a diff class for e same module prac lesson.. like so luan la...

who's more stupid than me? being kind to a person who's so selfish... I dunno y I'm stil give in to such a person.. next time I shall do things w/o thinking, juz like wad u're doing now..

Start of Sch tmr..

sch starts tmr.. yr 3 le.. suddenly, I dun look so forward to it la.. I mean I love going to sch, miss my friends, and all.. but I'll always think much much ahead than all tis.. like... I've less than a yr left in poly life..

I feel tt I've enjoyed e best & e most in my poly life.. coz in poly, I've learn veri much to enjoy e things I do.. like enjoy going to sch, finding joy in my Isetan job, finding joy in ITP, enjoy having fun, etc.. I rmb myself not seeming to enjoy this kind of stuff in e past..

well.. I complained ming juz now.. and he said, "You'll have to leave someday.. tt's life.."

End of ITP

it ended.. ITP's over..

9weeks.. when I'm 1st there, I think 9weeks is veri long.. but now, I feel tt 9weeks is rather short.. it's juz so.. how to say.. I guess I'll miss my days being there la.. though there's stress & frustration, but there's also fun & joy being in this company.. I guess I juz learn to adapt & enjoy my time during this 9weeks.. from thinking it's tiring to work from 9 to 6 everyday to looking forward to work thr everyday.. from e beginning, I care alot abt getting Bs each week even though I feel tt I do more than they asked me to.. but now tt my final supervisor grade is a B+, it dun matter to me anymore.. yes, I do complain y dey nv give me A, but in a jokingly manner.. I truly feel tt e grade dun matter to me anymore(of coz matter if it's a C or below), coz wad matters is I had enjoyed my stay & will be missing e days travelling to raffles place & sit in e call centre listening to e already familiar environment..

last day in RCI. actu wanted to ask how to get my pay de, coz our pay is give cheque.. so happen I met rosalind in e lift when reaching office, so she asked me wad can she do for me. so I asked her den she said she helped me ask finance if dey giving me or send mail to my house..

den sth funny happened la.. coz last day le ma, so need supervisor to fill in final grade, comments & stuff.. mayb some ppl dunno, bobby was supposedly my supervisor, but he asked rokiah to supervise me instead coz I've been doing her job scope, so she's been e one grading my logbook.. den for e past 2 weeks, ppl has been asking when's my last day, but bobby din mention it at all.. so I was saying to e nyp intern, I confirm he wun rmb it was my last day.. but den we stil think mayb he know so he nv ask lo.. so I din bother to tell him too. haha.. so... as usual, I went to IT dep to give me logbook to rokiah, but she on e phone so I wait thr. den bobby(sitting behind rokiah) ended his call & asked, "So, when's ur last day?" of coz I replied today.. den he was like, "TODAY?! SURE NOT? TODAY AR?" wif his famous surprised look.. I reassured him, "Yes, today". den he started bombing questions at rokiah if she know wad to do(abt my program) & stuff not.. as much as I expected la! so funny! juz e way he dun rmb I was coming on my 1st day, so din expect him to rmb my last day too. HAHA!

anw, I slacked my way thru e whole day.. sort of celebrating farewell on my own by sitting down thr & msn.. LOL... had my farewell lunch treat e day b4 coz rokiah said IT dep had sth on during lunch time.. was abit stunned tio when e call centre senior team leader came to bid me early farewell & give me a box of dunno milk or egg pudding.. abit paiseh la.. at 1st I tot was tau huay.. but it's not.. den I asked him if he can get an extra copy of tt RCI directory of resorts for me so I can bring home as souvenir... hehe..

bobby came to my desk to check sth in e late afternoon to ping sth.. frighten me as usual coz he juz came from behind & I thot who sia.. den I blur blur when he say I veri eng liao in tt not tt serious tone.. huh? I tot he saying tt nyp guy.. but I realize he saying me.. I blur coz I was doing sth related to work at tt point of time, but e nyp guy was msn-ing.. haha.. den bobby was telling tt nyp guy asking him how? everyone's worried I'm leaving.. he can make not.. haha! I tink even bobby is uncertain if tt e nyp guy can keep up to wad I've accomplished so far not..

I waited til evening near knocking off time den go give my thank you cards.. when I stood up from my seat & turn ard, so suay e call centre manager was thr.. den I think he know I wan go give sth, den he ask me wan give him izit, for him izit.. so thick-skin la!!! den of coz I feel paiseh, so shake my head as a reply & quickly run to IT dep.. wa lao eh! Gave rokiah her card 1st, den to bobby.. bobby was NOT funny at all la! But we all stil laugh.. he joke say he tot I giving him resignation letter. =.= den I faster shoved e rubbish tt e nyp guy wrote for fun to bobby.. it says “I ‘see’ You!” haha… give everyone a gd laugh in e IT dep la! haha.. IT dep is juz so fun ok! Den bobby say he’ll definitely call me back, and I better not purposely dun listen to his calls! Haha… we shall “See” la.. officially bid farewell to them lo..

Linger ard e office a little longer after work.. found out tt e 2 NP guys veri poor thing.. call centre is not just not as fun as IT dep la.. haha..

Called pei shian & decided to meet her
At PS last min.. actu she meeting hl de, so I buai paiseh go be “lightbulb” lor! Haha… I told shian long time nv charge le later become stupid.. haha… after meeting hl we went ichiban for dinner.. we chatted & see each other’s logbook.. wa lao! After I see theirs hor.. I tink I’m veri self-disciplined la.. their weekly entry is like so short compared to mine tt is so packed up.. shian even better la! She haven write for e last 2 weeks lo! And my supervisor has nv asked for my logbook b4 de, but I’ll hand in to them automatically every week.. I was joking wif shian say I wan to complain to Vernon/Kim, saying how come some supervisor r either blind or got bionic eyes.. coz dey can give final grade wif logbook not filled up de.. haha.. After tt we went daiso shopping! Haha.. saw tis cute tissue wif hamster on it & buy for our dear Eileen! Haha.. den we walk walk ard den go home..

Looking forward to sch! Hehe…

5 more days...

was super tired for e past 2 days.. super dreamy all e time.. finally got a gd sleep last nite.. hehe...

well.. I guess I'm starting to love my ITP.. but it's ending soon.. lol... come to think abt it, though there's lots of things to do, and lots of things dunno how to do, but I love my job.. at least e ppl r very nice.. I look forward to going back to sch, but I guess I'll miss my ITP job too..

e member services manager has asked casually again I might wan to stay as part-time to continue my job.. I tink it's a gd idea but have to think how to go abt it.. afterall, he's not my supervisor & my supervisor dunno abt it.. I feel tt it's sort of disrespect to bobby if I were to agree to ms manager's request w/o his acknowledgement la.. somemore bobby's e IT manager, he knows programming stuff but e ms manager dunno.. mayb ms manager might think I'm good, but my standard may not be tt gd to one who knows programming rite.. scarly bobby has not intended for me to stay leh? like tt if I stay, I'll b like so thick-skin lor.. so I'm waiting for my LO to come & mayb discuss wif her lo..

anw, dey had tis easter egg hunt in e office y'day.. dey nominated a few ppl to form teams and hunt for plastic eggs ard e office.. it's so funny coz when dey playing some of us stil working lo. den it's quite noisy when some of them have to make calls.. den everyone ard my area laughed when we heard ching telling e person at e other end of e phone tt we're playing some games rite now.. hahaha...

after work met leng at bugis coz she said she wanted to exchange sth.. saw zhengwei on e train at city hall.. was late meeting leng coz I ended work late trying to find some maps for my intranet stuff.. went bugis junction thr walk walk 1st.. I bought a new file wif snoopy carrying woodstock! so cute! haha... den went action city saw e salegirl hanging up stock on e shelf. den I saw tis monkey hp accessory she hanging! haha!! I bought a brown one coz I've been thinking so long to find a monkey to "eat" my banana on my hp! wad a nice combination can!!! haha...

after tt we went long john silver for dinner coz I wanted to eat thr.. after tt we go bugis village walk. leng found e shop, but she dun dare to ask for exchange so she nv exchange her stuff lo.. haha.. was tempted to buy tis purple ipod protector similar to my blue one la.. but den it's a waste if I dun use my blue one anymore rite.. so nv buy lo..

den we walked back to bugis junction walk walk again.. so funny can! coz I was looking at tis purple jacket in tis store, trying to find where's e price tag when e salesgirl was standing beside me at e counter only. den I cant find so I turn ard wanted to ask e salesgirl wad's e price. when I turn ard, e salesgirl was lynn!!! haha!!! so long nv see her le la!!! since my last day @ Isetan b4 exams lehz! so happy to see her! miss her & beth so much can..

oh ya! when we going home tt time hor.. me & leng saw tis 3 ang mohs on e train mah.. dey were looking at maps like normal tourists la.. but coz alr almost 10pm le, and e train is heading east side ma, so I was telling leng, "I bet dey going to geylang" coz it's like I cant tink of where in east side got any tourist attraction ma, somemore so late le.. so all I can tink of is geylang..haha.. den when e train reach aljunied, e 3 ang-mohs really alighted lehz!!

anw, I got bring home some work to do.. not tt dey ask me to do so la.. but I feel tt I left 5 days nia, so shall spend my holidays working on them so I can do other stuff on mon..

7 more days to go til e end of ITP~

okie! 7 more days to go til e end of ITP~

well... I guess I'll be spending abt 1 to 2hrs a day giving 1-to-1 html tutoring for e rest of my ITP, and spend e rest of e time... slacking?? of coz not!!! well... not totally... I stil got find stuff to do la.. somemore member services throw more stuff for me to do.. all e geography parts la..

anw, jumped abit upon hearing bobby's loud voice again. this time wif earpiece on somemore.. haha... guess was in a daze when he started asking someone question behind.. I think I'm veri pro at being in a daze & yet doing my stuff rite by now.. I can stare at my com screen, tapping away on my keyboard & clicking my mouse away doing all e coding rite.. but if u call me & ask me wad am I doing, I seriously cant come to my mind straightaway..

choosing gems tmr early at 9am.. guess I shall go to e office earlier to start up my com.. shld b choosing my gems on thu morning ba.. I veri scared cant get e gems I wan sia! coz I nv plan for a 2nd gems at all! AAHH!!! die le sia.. I'll be helping leen to pick her gems too, coz her company de connection slow.. no prob no prob! coz she wan financial planning which got alot of space.. but I scared my company internet screwed up on me den faint.. choy choy choy! better not!

Desmond told me tt he emailed betty pretty for me since last week?? but stil haven got response yet. haha.. I was joking abt it & he really go email them.. lol... paiseh paiseh..

Work, Work, Work!

countdown 8 more days..

well.. got my pay today.. but put it in my cabinet forget bring back.. blah... =.= it's fruit of e month again! this month is banana! lol... was slacking for quite some time during work la.. coz I'm supposed to wrap up soon soon soon! haha...

was teaching rokiah how to use my netbeans & tomcat stuff in e evening.. well............... wad can I say?? I wasn't wrong abt my B for my 1st week of work.. izit my fault she dunno html?? I mean I really cant help it u know.. though I use jsp to code my stuff, if anyone dunno den mayb it's coz jsp is chim.. but html... I know not everyone on earth know html la.. but e most basic language to maintain a website is html rite?? I'm supposed to teach her html from scratch.. I rmb tt time I put my jsp sql query which contain sql statements, den she ask me y I include? no need ma, coz everyone knows sql.. den I skip all my tr,td & other html stuff for documentation.. how am I supposed to know everyone dunno html? u get wad I mean? lol...

anw, I met e member services manager on my way back from e toilet.. he asked me when I'll b leaving & will I b interested to work part-time... lol... I dun mind ar! at this rate, they need someone to maintain their intranet I created too! haha... but if really, pls ask bobby stop asking me abt e authentication part! wahaha!