it's not going to hurt anymore..

I tink I stil care alot, even though I've said I wouldn't care anymore.. I guess I muz be more firm on my stand..

I'm really giving way to this so-called strong friendship this time.. not to e extent of not being friends at all, but letting it be not so close anymore.. I'm e one letting it go now... mayb u think I'm selfish.. den let it be this way..

it's tiring tt I'm e only one holding on to this bridge.. when I'm with u, u rather talk to others.. but when I'm with others, u get angry over me ignoring u.. does it ever ponder on u tt I go to others it's coz u're not concerned abt me? u nv realise how hurt I was.. nv understand how I really feel deep inside.. no more putting on a brave front anymore.. I wan to be myself.

it's time to listen to others I guess.. holding on tightly will juz make me more miserable, letting go will make me a happier person.. perhaps wad they say is right.. mayb 1 day I leave u, u wun feel tt u lost anything at all.. coz I'm not important to u at all..

yippee! counting down 9 more days to go! hope nth happen on e last day coz it's fri e 13th! oopsy!

anw, my supervisor say I can start wrapping up wadever I've done! yeah! coz e next 2 weeks I'm supposed to concentrate on documentation & teaching them how to edit & use my web app.. heehee... and I'm so amazed by how tomcat server works rite now! I know how to install tomcat server and get my web app run on it w/o netbeans le! wahaha... mayb some ppl will say "Chey!" la I know.. but wait til u do le den u know.. muz thank vernon for his hint on tt WAR file, or else I'll think I crack my head aso wun get it.. but next time cannot sms 2 question at a go, coz he'll only reply to 1.. haha...

Timetable's half out

I'm sick of "td" & "tr" tags! it's making me crazy! AAHH! countdown 11more days to end of ITP!

today's there's many small talks abt our timetable.. yes... it's HALF out.. haha.. funny rite.. so far I check left e LC module haben been shown on e timetable nia.. but e timetable alr look so cram!!! faint.. anw, dbit/2a/23 is officially "promoted" to dbit/3a/01.. lol.. weird la.. coz I thot we'll be like 03 or stil 23.. but 01?? and it's not as if we going to buddy wif 02.. NO! 02 is buddying wif 03.. it's gd la.. alr get used to e days w/o a buddy class.. so nvm la...

and for e lecturers, we've got 3 outta 4 of our ptns since yr1 for our lecturers again.. lkk,ttj &lai fook ming.. I love lai fook ming's lessons! haha.. but too bad he wun b our ptn coz he's only teaching us elective.. and I'm afraid tt lkk dunno how to teach sia.. but at least he look more hiphop nowadays la.. haha... and can u imagine ttj again?! e sch think we haben got enuff of her! crazy!!!

but there's finally some gd thing to look forward to!! we've a 1hr mass lecture wif ebm students! means can see leen, suet, huiyi & goldie! haha.. and I'm aso so glad tt shian's LO is teaching us e module tt my LO'll b teaching 02, 03.. oopsy!! not tt she taught us b4, but juz all tis ITP experience like I mentioned b4, she's really too slack la! can see tt shian's LO is more concerned abt students la..

anw, time to catch up wif my bbt shows!!! my bitlord is running faster than I expected! haha...

heyhey! it's JJ's 26th birthday todaY! haha... okie la.. posted a b'day wish on JJFC forum hoping he'll see. listening to yes 93.3 now coz JJFC has sent a dedication to JJ on all members' behalf few weeks ago.. haha...

well.. haven really blog much abt wad's going on in my life since e start of my ITP.. so.. yeah...
countdown to 13 more days of ITP! totally miss sch lehz.. miss SP so much! not kidding at all! I'm getting my A for tis 2 weeks liao.. finally! but hor.. I feel tt I'm writing rubbish for tis 2weeks lor! somemore last week got nth to do.. so contradicting la! but nvm la... give me A for e rest can le.. haha...

oh yes... know wad BOBBY SEE told me today?? he said I cant leave e company if I cant finish my authentication via Active Directory part! I think he's juz joking la.. haha... btw, I dragged tt part for 3weeks alr.. it's e one & only MOST IMPT thing tt he asked me & I dunno how to do.. but serious la.. I got go research lehz... but I really dunno mah.. nvm... when my LO comes next time, I'll tell her, "BUT Bobby says I cant go coz I dunno how to do authentication! how huh??" haha... den I can imagine I'll enjoy a loud voice & a high-pitch voice talking to each other when e time comes.

anw, sth's veri wrong la... I dunno, but I think someone complained abt tt NYP guy who's supposed to work wif me.. tt's y bobby came & take a look today.. this is wad happen - bobby came to ask me if I finish e authentication(duh?!).. den he ask e NYP guy wad he's doing.. den bobby stood behind him for awhile, looking at him do work. den bobby start asking him lots of weird questions like where he got his photoshop from, did he play his music from a cd, etc.. more like checking if he's doing illegal stuff on his com la.. stupid lor! tt NYP guy create alot of attention as always la! hai me aso nearly kena! coz I'm on msn lo!

on the happier side... snoopy woodstock wallet! yeah!! veri nice lehz! so many to choose from! got some veri nice but no woodstock! den I choose veri long lo... I love my new snoopy woodstock wallet! somemore it's limited edition, not more than 3 pieces is made for each product! XD

so anyone knows where got Betty Pretty outlet/factory?? this is e company e wallet's from... e lady gave me a leaflet tt says it is the company which bring in merchandise of Betty Boop, Olive Oyl & Snoopy.. so I wan go look look for woodstock merchandise! haha... but nv see tis Betty Pretty b4 wor.. if anyone knows muz tell me k??

updates..

most impt thing, thanks for all e concern.. my dad's out of icu =) yeah.. but e infection's not clear yet, so he'll stil staying inside for quite some time.. and half his roommates got virus infection too..

well... this whole thing has made me realize who my true impt friends are.. I guess I'll nv get to repay them enuff la.. haha... but again, I'm not very gd at words.. yeah! juz many thank yous.. *wink*

and den... I'm still quite disappointed in someone though.. I'm not sure y.. but it quite affect me after a chat wif another person on msn tt day.. den it makes me realize.. I juz kept waiting & waiting... wad I wan is tt little care from u.. but I guess there's no need to wait anymore.. sometimes I wonder, wad I meant to u anw?? tis is not e 1st time I'm asking myself liao.. I dunno if I've been silly or not.. for so long I juz keep defending u coz I tot everything is supposed to b like tt.. but now, even I myself have to think, am I deceiving others, and also deceiving myself? somehow deep inside, I can feel e line being drawn btw us subconciously alr..

well... we celebrated my grandma's 80th b'day @ my 1st aunt's house.. juz more of a simple gathering & sumptuous dinner as usual.. yeah.. we haven told her e truth yet.. everyone agreed to keep secret from her until after her celebration.. so everyone's like discussing in whispers here & thr abt my dad's condition.. e adults had a hard time deciding whether to cancel e celebration not.. but after considering much, we stil decide to carry on as planned lo..

not tt we wan keep my grandma in e dark, but we juz wan her to be happy during her 80th b'day celebration.. it's quite a tough decision to make.. but someone has to break e news to her soon.. haiz.. dunno how she's going to take it.. she's been pestering my mum to go visit my dad..

for me, as much as I wanted to visit my dad, which I did on thu after work, I feared for e moment of seeing him.. I feared e sight of seeing him wif tubes & stuff all over.. not only my dad feel e pain, it pained me to see him in tis condition too.. well.. I broke down as soon as I saw him.. I stood beside his bed, totally clueless of wad to say or do.. I dun dare to touch him for fear of waking him up, as e doc says to keep him asleep to prevent him from feeling pain from those tubes planted on him..

still, I would like to thank those who's been showing concern for me all tis while.. giving me moral & emotional support as much as possible.. really really.. and no words can describe my very owed gratitude to some important ones..

from e sch side, though vernon din really do anything, he did really give me much help.. as I'm scared tt anything might happen anytime, and I'm having my ITP wif my supervisor being not ard, I really need to inform someone in charge.. having tried to call my LO so many times to no avail.. so I've no choice to approach vernon.. he told me I can leave e office if I need to, dun need to worry abt anything.. and he did help me inform my LO too.. which I really veri grateful of..

as for my friends' side, many of them asked abt my dad, which I'm really happy they're concerned for me.. and esp laykim, I can really say she's my very very best friend.. I know I can confide in her anytime, anyday.. 1 word.. she'll agree w/o hesitation as long as she can help.. juz like now during ITP period, I met up wif her so she can print my weekly stuff 4 me.. I know it's troublesome for her, and I'm paiseh too.. but she's nv complained.. and I brought my request further to ask if she can put my tis week stuff into my letterbox in case I cant meet her.. and she agreed.. I really dunno how to thank her as much as I wish to..

rite now, I'm trying to keep myself as positive as possible.. yes, u still can see me joking & laughing wif anyone in person or msn.. coz I dun wan others to worry for me..