1, 2, 3, 4

exam's over since thu.. now's holidays.. hmm.. alr went out rite after exam on thu, den on fri, & today.. today go celebrate khay's b'day. hee... Happy birthday to Zhenhui too! so many so many things to say.. but cannot type all here la.. or veri boring liao.. hmm.. like so many things to blog.. but dun really rmb.. I'm really forgetful.. hehe... nvm, juz post abt my lil thots ...

have been really thinking alot... wad have really affect me alot recently.. it's all abt friendship & relationship.. sometimes, I juz feel tt some things juz dun have a choice. yes, mayb they have.. it's a yes or no question. u take it, or u leave it. it's so hard to choose things in life.. so complicated.. to gain or to lose, tt's e question.. where's e risk? life ahead seems so far to me.. wad r my choices now? will I regret wif e path I pick for myself?

to W, I really have nth more to say.. I'm sorry tt our friendship have to end up in this way.. I dun really wish for all tis to happen. I've to say, thanks for loving me, but I'm not e one for u. many things may have been taken for granted.. I'm not worth ur love. for wad tt have been spoken, it has all already been said. I guess wad has to be understooded would have been understooded by now.. we juz have to realize we've not understand each other better, when I thot we know us best. for wad I didn't understand, love & hatred is juz a line away. I'm really sorry for not being able to fall in easily. still, thanks for ur friendship all this while. even if it has to end tis way.

to H, I really have to confess, my guilty conscience towards treating u. for e length of time we've known each other, for e time we've been tt close, before. 3 years.. 3 years is not veri long. but u've seen me thru my kiddy-ness to my growing up.. these 3 yrs is 1 of e impt turning points in my life. so often I used to confide to u, so strong e sense of ownership to keep u to only me & myself. my mind juz keep telling me, "You're my friend. Only mine. I dun wan others to know u." seems selfish huh? yeah, I am. but I cant help but feel tis way. it's from tt time, when I tell u not to do sth I dislike, I begged u not to do so. u told me u know wad to do. tt moment, I know my trust haven been lost. but all has to happen. I was kept in e dark for u to do tt thing I've so wanted u not to do. but u still do it. tt point of time, I felt so betrayed! and words din get out of ur mouth, truth has to come out from wad I dislike. and coz of tt strong sense of ownership, e feeling of betrayal got so overpowered, I tell myself, I hate u, I wun forgive u! so slowly, I distanced myself from u, w/o u knowing it til now.. I ignore ur sms-es, giving all sorts of excuses when replying to ur chats.. I know we cant keep tt close anymore. I know all this seems silly, and i understand nth it's ur fault at all. u've no wrong! but I juz cant get myself to forget abt tt feeling of betrayal, when I know tt betrayal physically dun exist at all. I'm really sorry for e way I've been treating u so coldly, even though u believe all e excuses I gave as reasons. only today, it reminds me to make up for u. I will, someday..

to Y, I dunno wad to say.. not tt I dunno wad to say, but it's juz tt I cant say out. for tis & for tt. ppl keep saying I'm silly, but I dun care.. wad matter most? I've no idea.. to think wad tt seems to b endless. I dunno if I've made e right choice, juz gladly hoping I wun regret someday. for my cowardness, I've to make it up wif my determination & positiveness. I'm sure I'll make it! =)

to Z, u're my apple rite now.. =P thanks for being there for me, be it lameness or tiny little stuff. I know u love to pamper me, and yet I stil always bully u. hee.. but u stil care for me as much rite? u juz cant help making me happy & I juz cant help bullying u. yet we know this is our chemistry. for one's a big nasty bully, one's an lovable apple! I hope tt our chemistry wun dissolve forever, we shall stay happy as we're rite now. wad do I have to say rite now? I love my Apple very much for caring for me! *wink* =P

F.I.R. woots!

finally bought my ext HD today.. thanks to ck & jq.. me noob @ this kinda stuff >.<

exam coming le.. so scared sia... mayb coz of INSE.. I always scared of INSE.. not as if I dun understand la.. but I juz dun like INSE tis type of module lor.. haiz... 4 more days sia.. >.< inse ="X">.< pray pray...

anw, dun u juz love faye's voice?? so nice can! F.I.R. really rocks la... muz listen muz listen!!! 1234567 is nice, Ni Hen Ai Ta also nice... XD

Song: 1234567
请不要走 带走我的所有
请带我走 生活全都要走

今天 自我感觉突然又出现
浮现 过去梦中的画面
哭泣 原来是我伪装
别向那一面 竟是我们曾经
拥有的笑脸 有谁能为我
减轻了伤痛 撒向了海中
让重新再来过

请不要走 带走我的所有
请带我走 如果真的要走
从来就不肯承认
你是我心中最爱的那个人
请不要走 别在我面前走
我的温柔 有一天你会懂
曾深爱过一个人
今生今世就已经属于
那个人

笑容没了
距离有了
快乐也走了
还是真心死了
彼此不信任了 ....

thanks jiahui for being there for me.. other than tt, I dunno wad to say anymore..

Wad is love & friendship?

If u've been more persistent, would I have relented then? would I be by ur side rite now? would I be happier in any way?

I thot u've understood. I thot u would've gotten over it by now. all this while, we've been going wif my wish. I'm happy. isn't tt all u wan from me? I nv knew it was nv enuff, I've nv realized feelings juz cant lie.

u know how I feel for him, and how I feel for u. it's different, for wad I've told u since e beginning. y can't feelings get clearer than it shld b? am I wrong already? wad shld I do?

all it seems like now, is tt I'm standing in e middle of a bridge wif u & him at e opp end of it. if the distance btw him & me get closer, u'll b further away. I'm so scared. he hasn't seen me on his end, but u saw me. all this while, I've been thinking, if I haben reach his side and going to fall off e bridge, at least u'll rush to reach out for me. but now it seems like if I've chosen to go closer to his side, I'm going to lose u forever. as a close friend. u know I dun wan tt to happen. y juz cant u let me b greedy to have both parties?

I've nv felt tt friendship can become so weak w/o both of us supporting. mayb I've been selfish. all I wanted is to maintain tt pure strong friendship btw us. I've nv thot abt ur feelings. but y aren't u holding on to it anymore? I thot u care, but it doesn't seem tt way not anymore. it leaves me feeling so helpless now.

Test, Assignments, Presentation! Time Zoom!

Of all modules, I'm actually studying my SAPD 1st. haha... feel weird huh... but I dun have e feeling of wanting to study other modules actually. not even VDG1. hey man... wad's wrong wif zx?? SAPD is almost Java! crazy me actually wanting to study it. and most imptly, not falling asleep to it! omg! I'm actually taking pride in my SAPD outta e 6 modules including GEMS. uh-uh... now u bet, if I din score at least a B+ for SAPD, I guess I'll b damn sad la...

2 assignments, 2 tests, 2 presentation. all due next week. so cram yeah... gotten my seat no. for exam too juz now.. it's like tis term pass so fast, it's e peak period now. dunno for how many weeks, I've been seeing jiaqun everyday. haha... I'm not complaining la.. but it means we've been doing assignments so long tt I've to see her everyday. can even joke tt I see her more than my mama see me lor. haha.. it's true la! half of my 2nd year is almost gone! wa... did I juz survived thru all tt? amazing!

hmm... wad have not come has gotta come. real soon. rite? *wink*