for who she may be to us,
the changes to be so different.
so drastically tt we dun recognize,
is she who we still know to be?

sometimes I'll think is it my fault? to cause all e changes tt are happening ard us.. indeed I cant say I'm not part of it.. but. but.. it's hard to blame me for being so selfish.. nono.. nobody is saying to blame me.. but e prob is thr, someone has to take e blame, in e some sense, we cant juz all pretend tt it's not thr at all.. at least part of it.. yes, it's thr. it's thr all these while.. some can pretend not to see it.. but I cant.. so I chose to take it..

but really, I thot I was e pitiful soul out thr seeking for help.. but u took a step further to clearly tell everyone u're e pitiful one, not me.. I mean, we're not all fighting for e pitiful soul u know.. I didn't have a choice.. but u did... u've e power to control.. all e time. all tis time.. u've been e one making clear decisions so far.. u make my life miserable.. and I chose to be happy.. so den u make ur own life miserable.. it appears so.. to me, to you, to others.. but in actual fact, u juz leave e rest of us feeling guilty all e time.. seriously, den now, we're juz all feeling helpless..

I feel guilty even though I clearly know it's not my fault.. have to think abt juz so much tt u din think for me..mayb I'm juz concerned abt how ppl look upon me.. a betrayer when I'm not one.. u make me detest e ones I love..

or mayb.. we juz dun understand wad both of us really wan.. and wad we really wan each other to be..