Someone once said to me, be prepared to have no true friendship when you're up there. I didn't know how she felt at that point of time. Now I totally understand.
To be someone by choice or by chance, there is usually a price to pay. What I didn't know is, I have to pay a high price for being someone who barely makes it there to be one. It may seem glamorous to be me, but it sure feels lonely. I feel like a stranger to those who used to be close to me. I can’t do anything about who I am, who people perceive me to be. But I have to say, I'm still who you used to know.
I miss the days of CSC Day props making. Despite all the small talks and minor arguments, it was a place where I truly found joy. I doubt I’ll find the same kind of feeling anywhere else real soon. Except THES.
I don’t want my fighting spirit anymore. I have no intention to compete for anything. It really sucks to be hurt in the process. All I want is to do something I love, and not fight for what seems to be superior to others.
How many really understand how I feel?
